The Bachelorette-my view

Ok, so Ali's turn is here! She's back on the Bachelorette, and I have to say, ABC picked some la-hoo-sa-hers! Granted there are some nice guys in the group, some that I've already picked as favorites, but there a quite a few that I look at them and think some nasty, mean, and evil thoughts about! Here's my run down on it. This is only MY opinion, though...so if you don't like it, who the hell cares. Don't be posting your hate mail on my blog, stating your feelings. Because, frankly my dear, I couldn't give a damn.

1. Chris H-the Canadian. He's cute :) He's damn cute. A little TOO cute. He's like frat boy, bring home to mama cute. Somewhere down the line, that's gonna get him trouble...

2.Chris L-the landscaper, ex NYC teacher. I LOVE him! He's my favorite. I pegged him from moment one as one of those guys who will go far. He's a mama's boy, loves kids, lives on the beach, is loyal to his dog? What woman WOULDN'T want that???

3. Chris N-from Florida. His eyes creep me out. That's it in a nutshell. I don't do creepy. Next!

4. Craig M-Oh. My. God. And NOT in a good way. He's creepy as all hell! He stood half naked in front of his mirror and reponds to himself, "You're awesome." Um, no....you have a greasy Elvis bouffant, and you make fun of other guys on the first day there. You had one ugly ass outfit on, and you remind me of the guy with the scotch on the rocks who sits at the end of the bar, drinking himself into the oblivious slump because he's such a skeeve!

5. Craig R-the lawyer. I liked him! He kinda reminds me of Raymond's brother on Everybody loves Raymond. Awkward, yet cute in a weird sorta way. He was way up front with Ali, and ripped up Craig M. about the way he was acting. WTG, Craigers! I see him going pretty far, too.

6. Derek from Michigan-he lives very near to myself....yet he looks totally geeky and weird. Didn't like him. Glad he went home. Go back to playing Halo 4 in your mom's basement, Derek!

7. Derrick, AKA "Shooter"-WTF, man?!?!? Who the hell in their right mind would, on national television, admit to being a premature ejaculator? And you thought that would give you an edge on getting a rose? What the hell third dimension world do YOU live in???

8. Frank-I'm sorry....Frank, you're gay. You just don't know it yet. NEXT!

9. Hunter-the ukelele guy. I like him. He's quirky. I love quirky. I think Ali would, too. Did I mention to you that Ali and I would be besties if she would just acknowledge my existence? LOL

10. Jason-he was kinda quiet. Did he even get 1:1 time with Ali? There's your first mistake there, mister.

11. Jay-the personal injury lawyer. All I can say is, "Ew!" Greasy, skeevy hair. You sue people for a living. You're creepy all the way around. Plus, you need a haircut. Go back to the back page of your local telephone book.

12. Jesse-OMG, he's so adorable! Making that little wooden heart for her was THE perfect thing to do! Hell, if I wasn't married, he could come to Ohio and give ME a little wooden heart. He was too cute!

13. John C-"I hope this is one John you'll keep around" Is that the best you could come up with? Obviously, you need to go online and look up some charming pick up lines, because you suck. Go home! Plus, you need to wax your brows. They're a little "groverish."

14. John N-You're gay too, and just don't know it yet. Why don't you and Frank hook up?

15. Jonathon the weatherman-you are just a cheeseball. I think Ali is just keeping you around for shits and giggles. You won't be around long. It's cloudy with a chance of cheese. Bring your umbrella, because there's a 40% chance of light PARTicipation.

16. Justin the wrestler-I heart you, Justin! You are just adorable. You can be mean and impulsive, rated R even, when you need to be, but you melted like soft butter when you were around Ali. Now, if we could get you to get an actual j.o.b......

17. Kasey-you have stalker type tendencies. You need help. And speech lessons. Go home.

18. Kirk-HOTT! With two t's. I can't wait to see HIM with his shirt off! Who cares what his personality is like. We could just take him down off the pedestal when we need favors, and then put him back up, like a little cupid statue....

19. Kyle-you are odd and off beyond words and comprehension. You wear a bullet around your next and you give Ali a fishing hook? Wtf kind of drugs are you on? Thank God she saw that. Go make out with a bear.

20. Phil-you're an Ohio boy....I love you! So sweet and kind, kinda like a kiwi....tough on the outside and soft and squishy on the inside! I see good things in your future, young man!

21. Roberto-you've got it all the way, boy! You're going to be in the top 2 with Chris L, the landscaper. You had her as soon as you spoke Spanish to her. Very Ricky Ricardo-ish!

22. Steve-very boy next door like. Come mow my lawn. I think you're a cutie!

23. Ty-OMG, you're adorable! I heart you, too! sweet, gentlemanly, outdoorsy type. You're like Davey Crockett, but HOT!

24. Tyler M-you honestly look like you spend more time in the bathroom than most women, and for that, you need to go home. See ya!

and last but not least.....

25. Tyler V-I'm pretty sure you were that one geeky kid in high school who no one wanted to go to Prom with, and you went to school and became wickedly successful, just so you could punch everyone in the face at your reunion. Because I was like that, too....I commend you, and I'm rooting for you. Eventhough you're not as hot as the others....there's something oddly attractive about you!

So yeah...there's my take on the 25 guys Ali has to choose from. Take it or leave it. I can't wait to see who she ends up with in the end. God, I hope it's not creeper Craig M. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit thinking of him...excuse me whilst I go brush my teeth.

~Later Days!