Wednesday, March 23, 2011

If I could write a letter to me

I was listening to the radio this afternoon when I heard that song from Brad Paisley...the one where he writes a letter to himself at 16.  It got me thinking.  What would I say to myself if I were to do that?  Write a letter to my former self?  When I really sat down and thought about it, I started coming up with a plethora of things that I probably would say to myself in the past.  Here are just a few snippets of what I would say to my former self:

1)  First of all, your first love will NOT be the boy in high school whom  you can't even look at without turning seventeen shades of red (Ahem,  will the real Joe Sherry please stand up?).  You will go through high school and college, dating a barrage of boys and young men that really mean nothing to you, until you meet the man who is now your husband.  Enjoy it.  Have fun.  But, realize that this is just a trip until you get to your final destination.

2)  Your late night trips to Taco Bell and Dunkin' Donuts with your college friends will possibly be one of the most memorable thoughts in your history.  Far above the boys you dated....FAR above them.

3)  I would have told myself to not bother working at that summer camp, or at that convenience store, and to just work at Cedar Point every sunner, instead. You'd find that some of the best friends you could ever make will come out of that experience.

4)  All those times you spent hating certain people in high school were not worth it.  In fact, it'll do nothing.  (yes, this is true.  There were two certain people I adamantly loathed....on top of one particular teacher).  Don't stress it.  It doesn't amount to anything but pure resentment in your heart, many years later. 

5)  All those concerts you sang in?  Yeah, they don't amount to anything either.  You do NOT grow up to be a famous country or classical singer.  In fact, you drop out of music school in the first semester.  Don't bother. 

6)  I would tell my former self that people come into your life for a season, and then they pass.  This goes for all aspects of life...high school, college, even afterwards.  There are people who come forever, and there are people who pass for a season.  Enjoy them while they're there....but don't worry when they're not.  They were meant to be there for a reason, and they were meant to leave for a reason, too.   

7)  Even though you say in high school that you do NOT want children (yes, this is also true!), you end up with two beautiful, loveable little girls that you would kill to protect.  And you're going to like it that way.

8)  You WILL be a mini-van mom! And, regardless of what you say now, you won't care what others think!

9)  Don't get that credit card in college!  Don't do it! It'll ruin your life!  Nothing at Sears is so worth going through the years of bad credit you will go through!

10)   Make sure you listen to your heart.  People will try to persuade you in either direction, except the one you want to go.  Don't listen to them. It will save you a lot of hard work, pain, and embarrassment if you just listen to what your heart is telling you. 

11)  Eat healthy now!  Get in shape....so you don't develop diabetes in the future.  It's a pain in the ass.  It's not pleasant.  You won't like it.

12)  Listen to Mom and Dad.  Yeah, right now they sound like fools that know nothing.  But, trust me, they do.  And while you're listening, love them, because they won't be around forever.  And tell them you love them every chance you get.  You'll miss it when the opportunity is no longer there.

13)  Don't eat the fish at TGIF's in Elmira.  You end up in the ER with an allergic reaction and a really long needle of epinephrin in your ass. 

14)  Believe it or not, you WILL shop at second hand stores....and you will actually ENJOY it!!!

15)  You cannot survive on Raman Noodles and Spaghettios.  Learn to cook now! 

16)  Have a wedding reception after you get married.  I don't regret anything in my life now, except for the fact that we didn't have one.  I never got to share my love and marriage with my friends and family.

17)  Accept the fact that the world does not revolve around you.  You actually have to adapt yourself to work with the world.  You revolve around it.  The sun will rise every morning, whether you do or not.  The quicker you learn this, the easier it will be on you. 

18)  And last, but not least, work hard at everything you do.  Be sympathetic, be polite, and never use vulgar language in the company of strangers.  It makes you look dumb and uneducated.  You've, I mean, WE'VE, worked too hard to get where we are now to have someone look at me in a negative light.

What would you tell your former self???? 

Whiney Wednesday

1.  I don't know why I even bother with this stupid blog.  It's not like anyone ever reads it, anyway.  I'm probably just wasting my time.

2.  Damn headcold.  I still can't breathe out of my left nostril.

3.  I'm tired. Blondie woke me up at 3:30AM with a bloody nose.  I snipped the tip of a tampon and shoved it up her nose and made her go back to sleep.  Which leads to....

4.  I'm a horrible mother.  Blondie had a bloody nose in the middle of the night, and I shoved a tampon up her nose and made her go back to bec because I was tired.

5.  We're out of decaf coffee at home, and I'm cranky.  I have to drink blueberry tea.

6.  I have to go to the funeral home tonight.  I have an aversion to funeral homes.  I don't deal well with death.

7.  I have a certain someone in my vicinity today (of whom shall remain nameless) that I really can't stand, but I have to put up with them.  Which makes me hate them even more.

8.  I'm so tired of this shitty weather.  It's Spring now, damnit!  Why, then, is it rainy and cold and we're supposed to get some snow tonight?  As I said in my previous post....Ma Nature is a bee-otch with some serious bi-polar issues!

9.  The next 47 school days cannot go quickly enough.  I'm so ready for summer.

10.  And last, but not least.....I hate being a woman sometimes!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Mother Nature...

Lady, you're nothing but a TEASE!  What the hell, woman!?!?!  You give us these wonderful days, full of warmer weather, bright sun, chirping birdies....and then you go ahead and you take it all away!  The next three or four days are supposed to be crappy, rainy, cold, and yucky weather!  I do NOT like you right now.  I liken you to a stripper.  You show us all your goods, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, you give an emphatic, "Oh no, you dit-int!  I don't think you're ready for this jelly!" and you take it all away and give us nothing.  Frankly, lady...I'm done with nasty weather.  We've had months and months of darkness, clouds, wind, cold, you name it...we got it.  I'm finished, lady.  I'm finished.  Why must you tease us so?  I'm ready to get outside and go for walks to the store.  I'm ready to take my bike and go riding.  I'm ready to get into my gardens....but NOOOOOOO, you just HAVE to throw some more shitty weather in to the mix, don't ya?  Give it a rest, woman!  Bring on the sun.

On another note, I've been looking at my stats for this blog.  I have been getting an increase in viewers, but no one is leaving a comment.  Come on, people....leave me some love!  <3  I've also noticed an increase in viewership from other countries.  How come?  Am I really that interesting to people in Iran and Kazikstan?  What on God's green Earth would I have to say to those people that would be so interesting to them?  I'm not like, teaching them how to make pipe bombs or anything!  Can they even read what I'm writing?  I mean, does my ranting and raving turn into whatever language they speak in Iran?  What IS that, anyway? Is there a language called Iranian?  Do Kazikstanians speak Russian or Kazikstani?  So, those of you who are from foreign lands, and reading my blog...don't be strangers!  Leave me some love, too!  Let me know what it is that is so interesting to you.  Depending on your answer...I may just do more of it.....but don't ask me to make a pipe bomb from you.  Unless it is filled with dangling participles, and explodes with run on sentences, I can't be of much help!  LOL 

Later Days!

Friday, March 18, 2011

An open letter to Seth Rogan:

Dear Seth,
It's me, M.  I've been such a longtime and loyal fan of yours.  I've always had a soft spot in my heart for those celebrities that think outside the box, and show the world who they are, for real.  But, sadly, I have taken you off your pedestal, and you have been replaced with Jonah Hill.  Why, do you ask?  Well, frankly Seth, it's because you're not fat.  Not anymore, that is.  You've gone inside the box.  You've changed your image to fit that of celebrity Hollywood.  What happened to the chunky, adorable, squeezable little Seth Rogan from "Knocked Up" that I fell in celebrity lust with?  What happened to that beer belly that jiggled with delight every time you laughed?  What happened to those man boobs that bounced with joy every time you walked?  Unfortunately, they've gone to the vast wasteland that is called "celebrity Hollywood."  What the hell, Rogan???  Why did you have to go and change yourself?  And don't go telling me that it's because you "wanted to be healthy" or that you "did it for your upcoming nuptuals" to that wa-hore-ay you call a fiancee.  Please....

Everyone loved you because you didn't fit the norm.  You were all about the comedy and the acting....but you sold out, Seth!  You're fit now!  I want my little blob back!  I want that loveable little chubby guy with the cheeks you want to squeeze and the curly hair.  But now?  Now look at you!  You're hot...you're trying to epitomize the Hollywood star.  What the hell happened to you?!?!?!  You disappoint, Seth.  You disappoint.  Listen to us, Seth.  You're going to lose fans AND jobs in Hollywood, because you're hot now.  Now who's going to play the loveable underdog?  Certainly not you.  You're going to be stuck doing stupid romantic comedies that make no money now.  Sigh.....I have to turn my adoration to Jonah Hill.  At least HE still has some decency to stay chubby and make me laugh. 

Sincerely,
M....a faded away fan.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

My poor Blondie

Blondie is sick.  This kid NEVER gets sick.  NEVER.  She's had a fever between 101-102 for over 2 days now.  She was complaining of her throat hurting.  So, I had to stay home and make an appointment to take her in.  She's got an appointment at 10:50.  I'm hoping it is just a virus and not strep.  That crap's contagious, isn't it?  Anyways, this is the first day she's ever missed school.....EVER.  She's had perfect attendance ever since Kindergarten....and she's in 4th grade!  She's pretty miffed about that.  Not much I could do, though, because they would have just sent her home, anyhow.  She's downstairs right now, watching Netflix on Wii.  I'm not going to lie, when I say it kind of freaks me out when she gets sick, because like I said, she NEVER gets sick!!! I'm sure I'm overanalyzing it, just like I always do.  I'll keep everyone posted on her progress. :)

Monday, March 14, 2011



This right here pretty much sums up how I'm feeling today.  I don't understand how some people can be so self absorbed into their own lives that they don't think about, or care about, anyone else...their family included.  My mom is probably rolling over in her grave right now.  It's days like this that I wish she were still alive, so I could call her up and talk to her.  I need another mother's perspective on something right now.  I don't want to air dirty laundy online, so I won't say what this is all about.  But, I do have to say that I am completely and utterly disappointed in the action and behavior of others today.  I know that my blog is normally riddled with sarcastic remarks and obscenities on a daily basis, but today I just can't do that.  I don't know how to explain it.  I really don't.  It's kind of a mixture between being pissed off, and being sad.  Not sad for me, though.  Sad for someone else. I kind of feel like I want to hit someone, and then cry about it.  Like I said, it's a tough feeling to describe.  Mainly because it affects people close to me.  Oh well....all I can say is that I am NOT the one that can change it. Only certain people can change their attitude.  No one can make them. 

Monday, March 7, 2011

Bloody Hell!

And I mean that in every aspect of the word!  I've had THREE, count them, THREE bloody noses today!  I must have had a scab or something in there from my sinuses being all f'd up, and with the stagnant and dry air, oh lovely....I had to get ready for work with a freakin' tampon shoved up my nostril today.  It would not stop!  It was bad.  And I just got done having another one.  I hope this is no indication of how my day is going to be from here on out.  Cause, frankly, that would just suck. 

Took the kids to the Sylvania Playland (http://www.sylvaniaplayland.com/) yesterday.  They had a BALL!  It's the neatest little place.  They have all sorts of swingsets, slides, and jumpy houses, etc, for the kids to play in.  I had to drag them out of that place.  We went for a birthday party, and I thought that the place was only for parties, but NO!  You can go for an hour (5$) or unlimited play ($8)!!!  Had I known this, I would have had those kids there every flippin' weekend this winter!  They were running around, getting out all sorts of energy!  And with the winter we had this year, they so needed that outlet.  Dang, I wish I would have known about that place earlier.  It's a great place for kids. 

Friday, March 4, 2011

I hate days like this!

It rained overnight, and so, with the temperatures being lower than it should, the water that fell, turned to ice.  There are accidents all over the city, and they have the expressway by my house shut down.  I didn't know this, getting ready for work.  I left at my normal time, because I only work a few miles from home.  I live in between two entrance ramps to the expressway.  I could take either on any given day.  Today, I went to one, and as I drove up to it, I looked down from the overpass and saw that the expressway was down to a crawl.  So I said to myself, "Ok, self....just go take the other one.  It's bound to be better up that way."  So, that's exactly what I did.  Only, when I got down there, I got stuck in traffic because that, too, was closed.  Great!  At this time, it's about 8:10.  I have to have my classroom open around 8:20 for the students.  My only other option would be to go back over toward the first entrance, go past it, and take the long way with the city roads and side streets.  So, needless to say, I didn't get to work on time.  I got here about 8:30.  Only ten minutes late, but let me tell you, it was not a good start to the day.  And before that, Brownie was having a meltdown at home.  She begged and begged me last night to put a peel off mask on her face.  Even after telling her numerous times that it would hurt coming off, and that she wouldn't like it, she still insisted.  SO, I did....and she threw a fit when it was time to take it off.  She wouldn't let me take the rest of it off.  So she slept with it on her face last night.  Well, I HAD to take it off this morning before she went to school.  She threw a roayl fit!  I've never seen her like this.  She was thrashing, kicking, and screaming the whole time.  Now, had she just listened to me when I told her that she wouldn't like it, I wouldn't have been in that predicament.  Note to self:  when you know something is not going to end up well, don't do it!  I had to waste 10 minutes of my time this morning fussing with her face, getting those pieces of mask off so she would be able to get to school.  Had I done that, maybe I would have left earlier, and then maybe I wouldn't have been late to school.  You know, what my mom used to say is right:  Hindsight is 20/20.  I should have listened to her more.  Now that I'm older, it really is true.  I should have listened to my parents more.  Actually, I've turned into my parents.  I find myself disciplining my kids the same way they did me.  I find myself SAYING things that they used to say.  Example:  "You just wait until your father gets home!" and see the kids run in fear.  I even look at myself in the mirror and see expressions on my own face that I used to cringe at when my mom and dad made.  It's amazing...I really have turned into them.  I can't say that I'm unhappy about it though.  As a teen, you always say, "I am never going to be like my parents."  And as you grow up, and you mature and have a family of your own, you realize that they aren't that bad after all.  I tell this to my students all the time.  A lot of them, they get angry with their parents and they move out.  They don't think about the future.  What kid does, you know?  So, I tell them all the time how the only reason their parents do what they do is because they love their children.  And I also tell them that they shouldn't take their parents for advantage because they won't be around forever.  I tell them how I would give anything to have just one more moment with my mother.  But I can't, because she's gone, and I can't have her back.  They don't see the repercussions of their actions when they're teenagers.  I hope and pray that my daughters learn the same way I did, and I pray that, when they grow up and have THEIR own families, that they say and see things in them that they used to see and hear in me. 

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat.....

I think Tuesday was National Smelly Person day.  Seriously....I had to go to the grocery store, and I was walking up and down the aisles.  I think I passed every smelly, non-showered, tooth missing adult in the city of Toledo.  It was so bad with one person, in fact, that I literally smelled their stench all the way down the aisle before I even got to them, AND afterwards.  It stuck in my nose.  It was horrendous.  I got out my BBW hand lotion and put it on, JUST so I could smell it and get rid of the smell of rotting flesh in my nose.  I don't know how people do it.  I really don't.  The one thing I tell my children is, "The one thing you always want to do is smell good!"  No one likes a stinker.  No one.  So, anyhow....I proceed on my way to the check out, and I get in one particular lane, and Bam....there it is again, the smell of a homeless person living under a bridge.  There's another stinky ahead of me in the line.  At this point, I'm just like, "REALLY?"  I didn't care if it was a short line.  There was no way I was going to stand there and voluntarily sniff the putridness.  I got out of line and moved to another one...a longer one, but I didn't care.  Now, don't go chastizing me quite yet.  I understand that there are some people who really ARE homeless and can't help it.  But those people aren't in the grocery stores, buying cases upon cases of Pepsi Max and bags of Chicken fingers.  No.....those people are actually homeless.  THESE people just apparently don't give a rat's ass about how they look or smell.  They don't care that people pass out as they walk by.  They don't care that no amount of stick ups in the world would hamper their stench.  They have the money to buy a 24pk of Budweiser, but they can't buy a bar of soap and some shampoo?  Give me a break! 

On another note, Brownie's birthday party went off without a hitch.  She had so much fun, dressing up in her Fancy Nancy tiara and having tea and cupcakes with her friends.  She looked so darn cute in her dress and tiara.  Here she is, smiling from ear to ear. All the girls got to take home their own tiara and even their cups and saucers.  Their goody bags had girly stuff in it, like nail polishes, hair pretty ties, cookies, etc....they loved them, and they all had a great time.   
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