Friday, March 18, 2011

An open letter to Seth Rogan:

Dear Seth,
It's me, M.  I've been such a longtime and loyal fan of yours.  I've always had a soft spot in my heart for those celebrities that think outside the box, and show the world who they are, for real.  But, sadly, I have taken you off your pedestal, and you have been replaced with Jonah Hill.  Why, do you ask?  Well, frankly Seth, it's because you're not fat.  Not anymore, that is.  You've gone inside the box.  You've changed your image to fit that of celebrity Hollywood.  What happened to the chunky, adorable, squeezable little Seth Rogan from "Knocked Up" that I fell in celebrity lust with?  What happened to that beer belly that jiggled with delight every time you laughed?  What happened to those man boobs that bounced with joy every time you walked?  Unfortunately, they've gone to the vast wasteland that is called "celebrity Hollywood."  What the hell, Rogan???  Why did you have to go and change yourself?  And don't go telling me that it's because you "wanted to be healthy" or that you "did it for your upcoming nuptuals" to that wa-hore-ay you call a fiancee.  Please....

Everyone loved you because you didn't fit the norm.  You were all about the comedy and the acting....but you sold out, Seth!  You're fit now!  I want my little blob back!  I want that loveable little chubby guy with the cheeks you want to squeeze and the curly hair.  But now?  Now look at you!  You're hot...you're trying to epitomize the Hollywood star.  What the hell happened to you?!?!?!  You disappoint, Seth.  You disappoint.  Listen to us, Seth.  You're going to lose fans AND jobs in Hollywood, because you're hot now.  Now who's going to play the loveable underdog?  Certainly not you.  You're going to be stuck doing stupid romantic comedies that make no money now.  Sigh.....I have to turn my adoration to Jonah Hill.  At least HE still has some decency to stay chubby and make me laugh. 

Sincerely,
M....a faded away fan.

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