Dear Butt---

Please get yourself motivated today, because frankly, my dear, I could give a damn.  I always loved that movie.  Long as all get out, but it was still great.  Ah, to be Scarlett O'Hara. I'd have all the ammenities at my beck and call, and a hot military officer swooning over me.  That's the life!  Instead, I have to work my ass off to pay for my mediocre, yet, comfortable home.  Don't get me wrong!  Please, because I love my life.  I do.  It's just that...oh, come on...you know you've dreamed it too!  Haven't you ever wanted to just be that person, kinda like Paris Hilton or one of the Kardashians, that are filfthy stinking rich, but don't have to work an ounce for what they have?  You know you have!  We all have.  We've all dreamt of being able to go to some high end store and buy whatever you want.....but instead, we're the Viviennes (via "Pretty Woman" fame) of the world.  We go in there and the staff look at us like we're wearing rags and cardboard shoes.  On a side note, I'm sure that cardboard shoes are pretty comfortable, though.)  A girl can dream, but reality is that I have to work.  JB has to work.  And likely, my children will have to work when they grow up.  I guess it builds character.  I didn't have everything handed to me growing up.  Neither did JB.  We had to work for whatever we got.  I guess, just get over it, huh?  It's not going to change.  I'm not going to wake up in the morning and realize that I've won $50 million in the lottery.  Wouldn't it be nice, though?  To be a Kardashian?  Think about it...what do they do?  They have people who cook for them.  They have people who clean for them.  They have people who take care of their money for them.  They have PUBLICISTS!  What in God's creation would I do if I had a publicist?  Oh, the drama I could create!  To be able to just go to the mall, and go to the Coach store and have your pick of hand bags?  THAT right there would be worth it for me!  Damn!  Instead, I stand outside the store, looking in through the windows.  I'm drooling like a St. Benard in heat over the handbags.  They're so well within my reach, but yet so far away.  It's like a long lost lover that you yearn for but can never have.  If I were a Kardashian, I could buy the whole damn store!  Take that, you uppity snotty bitch clerk!  I'm a Kardashian, damnit.  If I say I want every damn back in the store, I will get every damn bag in the store, and you can't stop me!  I need a Kardashian name.....Kandy.  That's it! From now on, I will no longer be known as M.  I shall forth be known as Kandy Kardashian.  The long lost sister of Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe. :D  YAY ME!