Can there actually be rednecks in the city? No, seriously, can there? The reason I ask, is because today, when I went to the gas station to get me some decaf coffee (yes, I'm trying not to drink any caffeine.....I had a blood pressure scare at the doctor, and now I'm retardedly obsessed with making sure it's kept down) I saw something that took me by complete surprise. I walk in, and head over toward the coffee station. And there, standing before me, in full out redneck style, was this woman! She was, oh, I'd say, about 30. She was standing in front of me, making her coffee. And now you ask, "So why is that redneck-y?" Well, she was dressed to the nine in tye-dye slippers, a pair of Valentine's Day socks, a calf length white nightie with little flowers on it, and a robe! YES! In the middle of a city, there's a woman getting herself some extra caffeine coffee. I just kinda shake my head and go about my business. I meet up again with her at the mixing station, you know-where you can put creamers and what no into your coffee. I'm just there to get a lid, but here I see her put her purse up on the counter, open it wide, and then grab two giant handfuls of Amaretto and cream de menthe creamers, and throw them into her purse. TO WHICH, when she saw me seeing her do so, she turns to me and says: get this......."I'm having some friends over this morning for coffee." I just smile at her with the "what the fuck are you, an alien?" look on my face, I'm sure, and do the whole head nod and "oh" that aptly goes along with it. Then, I leave and go up to the register, pay my $1.49 for my large decaf, and proceed out the door. As I'm walking out, I hear her say to the lady at the register, "I'll take three packs of marlboro light, menthols." Again, I just shake my head and walk away....I guess she really needed her cafeinne and nicotine fix this morning, to go out in public looking like the mom from Married with Children. God help her children......I could only imagine.
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