They say a picture is worth a 1,000 words....

RANDOM PICTURE OF THE DAY.  PRETTY MUCH SUMS UP HOW I'M FEELING TODAY!

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore....

I swear to God, I thought my house was going to fall down this morning!  We had one hella storm around 5AM this morning.  I get woken up out of a sound sleep from it. The wind was whipping around so bad it sounded like a train outside.  I got up and looked out the window and it LOOKED like a hurricane!  The trees in the back yard were bending over like hookers!  The rain was so hard and so heavy that you could hardly see the road behind our house.  It was horrid!  I seriously thought my roof was going to rip off.  This was just before 5, and dangit if I couldn't get back to sleep.  I've been up since then.  And the wind hasn't stopped.  It's diminished some, but it's still windy!  The wind outside my classroom window sounds like a creepy wind you hear in those horror movies just before someone gets knocked off in a murder scene!  That "whoooo-hoooooo" type sound.  I wish I could record it so you all can hear it! 

So, guess what I get to do in about an hour and a half???  I get to meet Nate Washington!  From the Tennessee Titans!  He's an alumni of the school I teach at, and he's coming back to speak with the male students at our school.  I'm so sneaking down there to meet him.  It's during my lunch time, so I'll either eat early, or eat later....but I'm not going to miss an opportunity to meet a celebrity.  Whether I follow his team or not!  I'm going to try and get a picture of myself with him for my nephew, who's a big Titans fan.  He'll be excited.  Jealous, but excited! 

Mother's Day is in a couple of weeks.  And all I want is a ticket to see Darius Rucker at the zoo this fall!  I absolutely LOVE Darius!  Seriously.  It's sad.  He's all I listen to anymore, basically.  I have all his CD's on my Ipod, and I have a station dedicated just to him on my Pandora on my phone.  I've even gotten the girls addicted to him.  They call him Hootie though, because that's usually what I refer to him as.  I've always loved him, actually.  I loved him when he was in Hootie and the Blowfish, but I love him even more now that he's a country singer.  He's so great.  Now....if I can just get the husband to agree to getting me the tickets.  I've trained the kids to tell Daddy that Mommy deserves to see Darius for Mother's Day.  I've made my status message on FB dedicated to wanting to see him.  And I've sent him emails with information on how to get the tickets at a discount!  Now, let's all keep our fingers crossed! 

~Later Days!

The times, they are-a changin'

So, recently, the husband has decided that we should move.  He's (oh hell, who am I kidding, I am too) tired of all the crime and stuff in the city.  He hates his job and wants to go somewhere where we can start all over again.  I wanted to go back to PA, to the country side and the area that I grew up in.  He was having nothing of that.  He wants to go somewhere warmer.  I wanted to have some snow and winter.  So, we compromised.  We're going to Tennessee.  We've taken out a loan to get the house fixed up and ready to sell, and I'm in the process of getting my TN teaching license.  I'm currently waiting on the Autism school that I worked at to get their heads out of their butts, and fill out the paperwork I sent them.  The lady on the phone was completely and utterly rude to me yesterday.  If I don't get it by Friday, my butt is on her front step on Monday afternoon, MAKING her sign it in front of me.  Anyway, got off on a tangent.  So, I'm filling out all this paperwork to get the license, and stuff.  John's working on the financial aspect of it all.  It'll take a good year to get everything where we need it to be, and we can put the house up for sale.  I've been looking at jobs online.  Seems like there are a lot of them.  The only thing I don't like is the fact that it's FARTHER from my father than I already am.  I don't like being as far away as I already am, but now we're going to go farther?  But, I can't put my life on hold for something that would inevitably change in the future, anyway, you know?  I just wish that we could go looking down there this summer, and look for places that we really would like to settle down.  We do know that we want to be somewhere where we can have some land....yet close enough to a city that we can drive within like a half hour or so.  I'll be happy if there's just a Walmart and a grocery store around.  I can shop online if I need to :)  So, yeah...that's what I've been doing the past couple of weeks.  What have you been up to?

People who inspire me

I've been thinking a lot lately, about how I became me.  Not the physical, when-a-man-loves-a-woman becoming me, but what, and mainly WHO, helped shape me into who I am today.  I know I didn't just get this way myself.  I know that I was inspired, and molded into the person I am.  And, I think it's about time to recognize those people. 

First and foremost, my parents.  If it weren't for them, and the way they raised me and WHERE they raised me, I know for a fact that I wouldn't be who I am today.  My parents were the most loving, caring, and supportive parents a kid could ever ask for!  Yeah, they were strict.  But, I honestly believe that it is because of that strictness that got me through to where I am today.  They didn't let me act a fool.  They didn't let me up on my responsibilities at home or at school.  I was responsible for the outcome of my actions, whether they were good or not. If they WERE good, I was praised for it.  If it wasn't good, well, I was reprimanded for it.  My mom was always there for me.  She was always available for me to talk to, and she very rarely raised her voice to me.  If she did, I completely and utterly deserved it.  She had my back 110%.  And I miss her every moment, of every day of my life.  Same with my dad.  He is stoic.  He is my hero.  He was there for me for everything....whether he wanted to be or not.  I know there were many a day he didn't feel like driving 70-some odd miles to Erie just to see me twirl my flag in the marching band competition.  But-he did it.  Because that's what a good dad does. 

Mrs. Cummings was one of my high school english teachers.  It's because of her, and how she taught us, that I decided to become a teacher.  I remember seeing her at my mom's funeral, and I told her that.  She didn't seem to understand why I would choose her to be my mentor.  Why her?  Because she showed me a passion for the language.  She showed me how the written word can conjure up so many emotions and feelings from just reading them.  She showed me that when I write down my thoughts, that they not only are my thoughts, but conjure up thoughts from everyone who reads them.  Well, hell...if it weren't for Mrs. Cummings, you wouldn't be reading my blog right now.  Because of her, I learned to love to read and write. 

Carolyn Fournier (nee Woughter) was one of my co-op teachers during my student teaching.  It's funny, because I think I learned more from her than all 4 1/2 years of my undergrad degree, and I was only with her for four months!  She taught me what it was like to be a REAL teacher.  She taught me things they don't teach you in college.  She taught me that the 2 people you want to suck up to are NOT your principal and department head....but to the custodian and the secretary.  "Melody, they can make you or break you," she'd always say.  Wiser words have never been spoken!  Those are the first people I get in good with when I start at a new school.  If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have heat my in classroom, or any of the office supplies I need!!! 

In contrast to that, I also had a teacher inspire me to better myself, to prove THEM wrong!  I had this math teacher in high school we'll call Ms. F.  She was an unmarried, cranky and mean woman.  You could just TELL she didn't like kids.  I remember her saying to me one time, after I didn't understand a certain concept in algebra, "If you don't get it after the 3rd time, you're never going to.  And I'm not going to explain it to you again."  It was that particular comment that sent me spiraling into a deep and putrid hated for math, and for her.  It was also that statement that made me want to prove to her that I would eventually become a teacher, and one that was better at her job than HER.  I think, in a way, she's the reason I became a special education teacher.  I hated the way she spoke to me; like I was stupid or something.  And I didn't want another child to ever have to hear that.  So, I vowed to become that teacher who wouldn't allow their children to fail.  So yeah, I guess in a weird and twisted sort of way, Ms. F DID inspire me.  She inspired me to be better.  She inspired me to be a good teacher, and to love what I do.  Don't go asking for me to say thanks, though...because, in the words of the great Rhett Butler, Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn! 

I think, besides my parents, my biggest inspiration has been my sister.  Sis is my best friend.  I would burn bridges, break legs, and take names for her.  I can count on probably one hand the amount of times I've actually called her by her real name.  To me, she's my Sis.  To my chidren, she's "Aunt Sissy."  She has been my mentor, my confidant, my friend, and a surrogate parent for me my whole life.  I can't even think of words that express what she means to me.  Thank you doesn't ever seem enough.  She's provided me with a lending ear when I needed it.  She's provided me with whatever it was I needed, if I couldn't get it myself.  She has been there for EVERYTHING.  My high school graduation, my college graduation, my wedding, the birth of my children (ok, not AT the birth itself, but an extremely short period of time afterwards!)...you name it, she was there.  She is, and always will be, the one person I will always want to make proud.  There isn't anything that I don't do that I don't want her to be proud of me for.  Even at 34, I can't seem to shake that.  I'm old enough to make myself proud, but I just need to have that approval from her. 

So, there you have it.  The people who made me, ME!  Who inspired you to become who you are today?

A History Lesson

It's funny how something as simple as a piece of cardboard can trigger such good memories for a person.  It happened to me this morning.  I had gone out last night and bought myself a new dress to wear to this presentation I'm giving tomorrow, and I got myself some new pantyhose to go along with it.  I opened up the package of hose this morning, and I pulled out that piece of cardboard that comes with it to make it look all smooth and what not.  It just flooded my brain with memories of my maternal grandmother.  My grandma Corthell never EVER wore pants.  Ever.  Period, end of story.  And she wouldn't be caught dead without some pantyhose on, either.  The one thing I remember my Grandma doing was saving all those little pieces of cardboard from her pantyhose packages, and putting them in the bottom drawer of her closet in her bedroom.  She had a box of crayons and a box of colored pencils in there, too.  It was customary for me to come in my grandma's house, then head straight to the "coloring drawer," as I liked to call it, and spend probably 3/4 of my time there, drawing pictures and things for my grandma.  My grandma wasn't always the nicest person.  She had some mental problems.  She was pretty Bi-Polar, no lie...like she really did.  She had medication for it.  But, she always seemed to have a soft spot for her grandchildren.  This was one of her little things that she could do to make her grandchildren happy.  So...after having THAT memory, of course it brought back memories of my granddad.  He used to make bikes from old bike parts.  He used to make stuff out of wood....he had this barn in the back yard that he turned into his "workshop."  I used to go back into that ALL the time, and just wander and roam around that place.  To me, it was a giant, vast open space full of cool things to look at and play with.  To an adult, I'm sure it was just an image of a hoarder.  My grandpa had so much junk in that building.  But, to me, it was amazing.  I would spend hours in there, exploring and finding new things every time.  Plus, they lived way out in the country.  There were a few houses on the road they lived on, but for the most part, it was nothing but land.  The old cemetary up the street from their house, I used to go up there all the time, too!  They had gravestones that dated back into the 17 and 1800's.  I remember once, my grandma and mom went with me, and they showed me the stones of my great grandparents, my great uncle Seth, and my great Great Grandfather, Wellington Nottingham.  It was wonderous to me.  To think that my history was right there....in the ground below me. 

All of these memories that I had, they made even MORE memories come back in my head.  Memories from my dad's parents, memories from spending time with MY parents, memories from when I was a child.  I had a wonderful childhood.  I really did.  I really to attribute it to the area in which I grew up.  At the time, especially when I was a teenager, I couldn't stand that place.  I hated being so far away from everything.  But now, I long to go back home to Eldred.  I miss that, and I want my children to experience the childhood I had.  I want them to be shielded from the horrors they find in the city.  The lonliness of being one of a million people.  In Eldred, I was Melody.  Kenny and Jan's daughter.  Here?  Here, I'm nobody.  I walk down the street and no one knows me.  In Eldred, I couldn't walk 2 feet without seeing someone I knew.   Someday, I will move back to Eldred.  I know it will have to be when I'm alone.  When John is gone (if he goes before me) and when the children are grown.  BUT---it will happen.  I could go on and on for hours about the memories I've been having today, but then this would turn into a novel.  I think it's best to just leave it at that, to know that one simple, miniscule little piece of cardboard could cause a tsunami of memories that make me yearn for the days when I was young, naive, and carefree. 

~Later Days

ARGH!

I'm so frustrated right now.  My stupid blood sugars are up, and I don't know why.  I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing.  I'm eating the way I'm supposed to, I'm exercising the way I'm supposed to, and they're still high in the mornings.  My day times, I'm cool with.  The numbers are ok in the day.  It's the overnights that have me so ticked off and worried.  Every morning lately, I wake up and I check them, and they're in the high 130's-140's range!  (For those of you not privy to dibetic knowledge, normal is between 90-120) BAH!!!  I don't get it!  I'm already taking 2 pills a night....I don't even want to know what he's going to have me do with it now.  I'm sure add some sort of pill like Januvia or whatnot.  I just have been trying to avoid this at all costs.  I've even lost another 10lbs.  You'd think that would help, but it hasn't.  God....why does this kind of crap have to happen to me???  So, I called and left a message for him to call me.  He's not in that office today, and won't be until tomorrow.  So I'm sure he'll call me after he sees all his patients tomorrow...which is usually around like 6 or 7 PM.  I've waited this long, I guess I can wait a little more, huh? It's just so damn frustrating to know that I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be, and it's still not working.  So goes the life of a diabetic, I guess.  Trial and Error, and testing and all that jazz. 

On a happy note, as of today, there's only 34 days of school left until summer!  YAY!  And four more days until I'm on Spring Break!  Double YAY!!!  I so need a vacation.  I love my work, don't get me wrong.  The kids are great.  But, you know...you see the same people day in and day out week after week after week...you do honestly get kind of sick of seeing them.  I think those 10 days off will be just what the doctor ordered (pun totally intended).  Maybe after that my morning sugars won't be so bad.  LOL  I can't wait for summer and warmer weather to get here.  I'm itching to get outside and get my gardens set up.  My perrenials are already starting to pop up in the front and side gardens.  I do need to get out back and weed my strawberry patch!  There's weeds about 5ft tall in there, probably choking out my strawberries.  I can't wait for the pool to be ready, so I can hang out in that.  I just can't wait, period.  I'm tired of winter and cold weather, etc...

We apologize for the delay. The operator of this blog has been incapacitated.

It's been a busy couple of weeks!  My friend, Roomie, promptly texted me and basically told me to get my ass back in the blogging business!  LOL.  I'm in the process of getting ready for a conference that I'm presenting at in Findlay, OH next week, so I've been busy with that.  My apologies to anyone who's missed my insatiable sarcasm and wit.  :)  I promise I was not ignoring you! 

I don't think I really have anything too awful sarcastic to say today.  I'm kind of void of all sarcasm at the moment.  In saying that, though, does that sound sarcastic?  Oh wait, I do have something to talk about.  The husband and I took Brownie and Blondie out to eat on Wednesday night.  We ended up going to Fricker's on the Field in downtown Toledo.  We didn't get that much to eat.  The girls each shared some frickin' chicken chunks, and they each got a side (Brownie got cole slaw, and Blondie got a salad).  My dinner consisted of frinkin' chicken chunks and some fries (and a $2.22 tall beer) and JB got about the same thing.  Except he had one more beer than I did.  But, now I know why they call it "Fricker's!"  Cause you have a  frickin' heart attack when you get the bill!  Not a whole heck of a lot of food came out to over FIFTY dollars?  I think I was raped at Fricker's!  Seriously, they violated me by charging me so much money for something not worth it!  Now, had it been like, oh...I don't know...prime rib, a baked potato, and caviar...yeah, then $50 wouldn't seem so bad.  But for chunks of chicken?  Especially chunks of chicken that didn't even have enough sauce on them?  What the fuck, you know????  It used to be that they slathered the chicken in the sauce you order, but not anymore.  You barely get any!  And if you ask for some more sauce on the side, you have to frickin' pay for it!  I certainly think that will be the last time we go to Fricker's for dinner.  It was Frickin' Rape!!!  No, Fricker's!  You shall no longer take my financial innocense, and you will NOT be happy about it.  Find some other schmuck to sodomize from now on! 

The girls have been off on Spring Break all week.  Whilst JB and I have been working.  My good friend, Dawn, she offered to take the girls for me while I was working.  She has 2 boys about the same age, and she was off on vacation.  Which was nice, because I didn't have to pay the sitter.  But, I have to admit it was a PITA.  First off, I had to get up earlier than normal, and I had to get the GIRLS up earlier than normal.  Believe you me, they were SOOOOOO little rays of Sunshine getting up at 6:15AM (NOT!) and get everyone ready to get out the door by 7:15.  Then I had to drive all the way across town to drop them off, and then the back way to work.  Then I had to do it all over again, but backwards, after school to pick them up.  Now that I think about it, I probably didn't save that much money, because I probably spent the money I would have paid in babysitting to fill up my car!  Speaking of rape....  I can only think of finishing off next week, and then being on my OWN vacation while JB and the girls are gone all day long for 10 days!  It's going to be glorious!  Although, I am going to be painting Brownie's room.   She wants her room painted salmon.  It's a pretty color.  I think she'll like it :)  But, that'll only be a couple of days' worth of work, and then I have the rest of it off.  Ahh....I can feel the relaxing muscles as I type! 

Well, it's off to keep preparing for next week!  In the iconic words of "The Arnold,"  I'll Be Back!

~Later Days!