BLESS YOUR HEART

I heard this great quote today from my friend Courtney (check out her blog at http://patienceprogressperseverance.blogspot.com/ )  "You don't have to be hateful.  You just have to say 'bless your heart' instead."  This is a great thing that came almost at the most opportune moment.  I had a REALLY hard time this afternoon.  I'l spare you the details, but it was just really difficult.  Having to deal with certain people just make me crazy.I really contemplated saying something to this person, but then I got on Facebook and saw this post from Court.  Like I said, it'ls coming at the most opportune moment that it could.  SO.....needless to say, I'm going to sounding a lot like a southern belle from now on!  Piss me off?  "Bless Your Heart!"  Cut me off in traffic?  "Well, Bless your heart!" (I can't promise there won't be a rather unkind gesture to accompany that one.)  Have a student tell me to F*** off?  "Well, thank you Shenaynay.  Bless your little heart!"  The snow plow man just plowed all the snow into my driveway?  "Oh my!  Bless your cold, black heart" 

It's like crystal meth....you can't stop it.

 There are some REALLy weird chicks on the Bachelor this season.  REALLY WEIRD.....let's delve into Brad Womack 2.0's season of the Bachelor, and see what sort of weird upcommings there are.  And please, read my disclaimer before reading on:

**If you are, by chance, a complete and utter moron, and you have a sad and unhealthy obsession over either Brad 2.0 or any of the girls on the Bachelor, it's best you stop reading now.  Should you choose to continue, please don't go leaving me hate mail on my comments, because I could care less.  It will just get deleted and left out of my life, as you are with anyone else in your sad lonely life.  Thank you. **

Weird Act #1:    <-----She's a dentist.  Now.....would YOU allow this woman to give you a root canal when you've just seen her swap spit with a virtual stranger on national television?  Um, thanks so much, but I think I'll go for the ugly old guy over there for my dental issues. 


Weird Act #2:This woman, Melissa, vs this woman, Raichel.
                      TWO episodes in, these women were fighting like cats and dogs over 2.0!  Seriously, they were getting in each other's faces, and talking smack.  They kept interrupting each other's 1:1 time with 2.0  What a way to show yourself to the country.  "He's MY man!  I've known him longer than you have!  You've only known him five minutes.  I've known him SIX!"  Puh-leeeeze.....2.0 sooo isn't worth it. 




Weird Act #3:  Team 2.0 or Team Edward??   <----this chick has fangs.  Enough said.




Weird Act #4:   <------this chick plays with dead people.  I'm not so sure about marrying a person who plays with dead people.  That's some sort of nasty, gross, and disturbing nightmare type movie right there. 



Weird Act#5:  And last, but definitely not least, we have 2.0 himself!    He left 2 chicks standing there with their mouths wide open the LAST time he was on the show.  Then he received three years of intensive bitch slapping, no dating, harrassment from the women of the United States.  And ABC goes and lets him try again?  They must be looking for ratings.  Shame on you, ABC....shame on you.  Let Brad 2.0 live his life of lonliness and reclusion.  He deserves it. 




So, there you go.  There's my run down on the Brad Womack 2.0 season.  Let's see how it plays out.

Later Days!

Breakfast burritos are the DEVIL!

I have decided that Ricky Gervais is, indeed and by far, the most GENIUS man on the face of the planet!  I was watching him on Ellen yesterday, and she was talking to him about all the weight he's lost in the past year.  She mentioned to him how it must have been difficult.  And do you know what his response was?  Wait for it.....wait for it....he said, and I quote, "It wasn't hard.  It was boring."  How epiphoniacal is that????  Why did I never look at it that way?  I've always told myself that dieting was hard.  But, Ricky Gervais is right!  It's not!  It really isn't!  It's just boring!  How come it takes a virtually unknown celebrity to make me realize this?  Wow....It has stuck with me since the moment he said.  He also said, "Who wants to get on that exercise machine and sweat your ass off, when you can sit on it and eat a tube of Pringles?  Of course not, but it's like going to work.  You do it because you have to.  Not because you want to."  Dang, Gervais!  You're a freakin' GENIUS!  And so, because of that, today's post is dedicated to you!  Live long and prosper, Gervais.  Live long and prosper.

I have this posted on my fridge.  So, everytime I go to get in the fridge, whether it's to start cooking dinner, or because I'm bored or hungry....this is the last thing I look at before I try to grab it.  It may sound strange to you, but to me, it's a tiny motivator.  It automatically starts that little devil/angel on the shoulder fight that will argue and fight against the evils of fat and whale-ness.  So, when I get that urge to go through the McDonald's (DAMN YOU, Ronald!) for those oh-so-tasty breakfast burritos with hot picante sauce, before I even get to the turn, I hear the little angel on my shoulder saying, "M....let us not forget about that little black dress you're trying to get into!!  Let us not forget the reason we aren't going to eat those temptuous, yet devil's food.  If you make that turn, you're also making one hell of a cluster fuck up."  Ok, so maybe an angel won't say cluster fuck.  Well, maybe not YOUR angel.  Mine does.  Mine's a liberated angel who knows that a cuss word doesn't mean she will lose her Godly wings.  So, there! 

I have another troubadour in my quest.  She shall forth known as "Roomie."  Roomie is an old and dear friend of mine.  She is, also, on a quest to look less like an animal and more like a hot chick.  Much like my Anti-Whale quest, Roomie's on an Anti-Cow like quest.  We also have similar goals.  As everyone knows, mine is to get into that LBD.  Roomie's is to get into a pair of skinny jeans.  So, she's going to follow me and work with Computer Girl and I on our quests to be less than we are---in every literal sense of the word.  LOL  So, follow us and our trials and tribulations.  Join us in our gripes and groans, and laugh at our mishaps and missteps.  It's ok.  We have a lot of fat.  It'll just bounce off of us and go back onto you.  LOL! 

Later Days!

I am a nice person. I am a nice person. I am a nice person.

I have to keep reminding myself to find the good in all people.  I really do.  It's so easy to go to the dark side and just start saying negative things.  I feel like Darth Vadar sometimes lately.  I know I need to be good, but then the evil Jedi mind tricks take over, and I have to fight the urge to stand there and say, "What the hell is wrong with you?"  I guess it's a good thing that I'm not Luke's father.....else I'd be trying to knock off my own son to spite myself.  This is, by FAR, the hardest resolution I've ever had.  I think I'd rather resolve to lose 200lbs instead of resolving to be a kinder, more sympathic version of myself.  This is hard shit!!!!

My friend, Gina, brought me a present this morning.  Remember how I was having such difficulties in finding a happy temperature for my classroom?  Well, it's been resolved, but my friend, Gina brought me a giant thermometer for my classroom.  LOL  It was funny.  I have it right up on my 1923 chipping chalkboard. 

So, lately I've been thinking that I want to get an exchange student.  Ever since high school, I've ALWAYS wanted to have one for a year.  One of my best friends my senior year was Lin, an exchange student from Sweden.  She and I still have contact with each other.  I even told JB before he and I got married that someday, I WAS going to get one.  I'd like to get one from either Sweden, Germany, or Denmark.  I don't know why I've been thinking about it so much lately.  I have always told JB that I wouldn't get one until the kids were in high school...but for some reason I want one NOW!  It's been going through my head more and more lately.  Of course, I know that it won't happen.  Not only do we not have the room, but I promised JB that I wouldn't even look into it before the kids were in high school.  DANG!  Why do I have to be so damn obediant?!?!?!?! 

Why birthdays suck for Diabetics

Why birthdays suck for Diabetics

• First and foremost-birthday cake.  Need I say more?  It's like seeing bubble wrap and not being able to pop it!  Torture!
• Most people get to go out to whatever restaurant they want for their birthday.  Diabetics can not do that. You know we all want to go to the cheesecake factory and snosh on some chocolate cheesecake, but then we'd have to make a pit stop at the local emergency room on the way home.  So, no....we can NOT go wherever we want to for our birthday.
• Drinking!  A lot of people like to go out and "celebrate" for their birthday by having some cocktails....or two, or twenty....but us diabetics, we have to watch our "cocktail" intake so our BG doesn't go down.  Chalk another one up to the non-diabetics. 
• Presents.  Who doesn't like to get nice presents for their birthday?  A lot of people get candies.  A lot of people get sugary sweets.  Us diabetics?  We get ugly sweaters, gift cards, and coffee mugs with "World's Greatest Aunt" and "No, you can't touch it.  You already broke yours off" written on them. 
• And while we're on the subject of candies, if we DO get candies, they're sugar free, and sugar free stuff have tendencies to give you a nasty case of the Hershey Squirts about 3hrs after you eat it.  Nice...."Happy Birthday, here's a box of the shits for you!"

So, in the spirit of the Birthday season, HAPPY FRIKKIN' BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Ka-BOOM Happy Birthday to me!

My phone has been blowing UP with text messages and notices of messages left on my FB from people telling me happy birthday.  What a nice thing to see, that people actually care enough to take a minute or two to post a message wishing me a happy birthday.  No, really....no sarcasm intended.  It really is.  I hadn't planned on celebrating my birthday, but it really is nice seeing people still have compassion in their lives.  I've had to put my phone on vibrate, though, because of all the interruptions.  Every 15 seconds I was hearing, "Whoooo Wheeee!  You gotta text message!"  LOL  It started around midnight, too.  I heard it out in the kitchen while I was sleeping....or should I say TRYING to sleep, because it kept waking me up.  BUT-do you think I actually got up and turned it down?  Nope.  I was too lazy and tired to get up and go turn it down.  NOW, had I actually done that, I probably would have gotten more sleep than I did. LOL  JB was the same way, too.  So, I'm sure he's pretty tired today, also. 

I started my food journal today.  I usually take the first two or three weeks and write down everything I eat, so I can make sure that I am sticking with my diabetic, low carb diet.  I've also gotten back into the whole exercise thing.  Saturday I did Zumba (which is REALLY REALLY fun, by the way!) and Sunday I did the Wii Fitness and Just Dance.  I really REALLY want to get the Zumba for the Wii, too.  If I had the money, I'd totally do the classes, but they're $7.00/class, and I can't see myself spending that money on one class, when I can go out and buy the "game/video" for Wii and spend a one time fee of like $40.  It would pay for itself in six sessions.  Of course, I still have my eliptical machine, too.  The dreaded eliptical machine.  I know it works.....but I guess I get a sense of wanting to throw up when I know it's time to get on it.  I suppose I should get over that, huh?  I have decided, as stated in my last post, that I want to get a little black dress.  I am going to strive for a size 14, and once I hit a size 14, damnit, I'm going to go get me a LBD, and I'm going to make JB take me out in it.  I don't care where we go.  We can go to McDonald's playland or the stock car races, but damnit, I'm going to be wearing a LBD whild doing it!!!! 

It's time.

Tomorrow's my birthday.  My 34th birthday.  That means that I am officially over a 1/3 of a century old.  And I'm still fat.  I told myself last year that I wouldn't be a whale by my next birthday.  And here I sit....just as whale-like as I was this time last year.  Actually a little MORE whale-like.  I think I was 10lb lighter.  Anyways, so what better day to start back on my anti-whale quest than on my 34th birthday??  I've got a couple of friends here in town that are saying they'll do it with me, but honestly, I can't count on them.  I have to count only on myself.  What they do doesn't really matter.  I have to work on leaving my own blubber behind and not worry about whether they lose their blubber.  I do have a friend online, we'll call her Computer Girl.  She and I have a LOT in common.  She's gone through a lot of the same weight struggles as I have in our anti-whale quest.  Right now, we're exactly the same weight.  So, we're going to have a "reward" system put into place for each of us.  We're going to set up a goal for ourselves; you know, to hit a certain weight by a certain time.  And when we hit it, we're going to reward each other.  I think my reward is going to be a new dress....a new little black dress.  I've never had one ;)  Wouldn't I look hot and perty in one of those LBD's?  So, yeah...we'll see.  I'll post my complaints, my trials, and my tribulations here to help me vent, and give me an outlet instead of putting somethingi n my mouth. 

YAWN, stretch, scratch, and complain....

So I totally woke up tired again this morning.  I know why it is.  I do.  It's because I'm fat again.  Not pussy footing around.  I gained my weight back, so now I'm fat again, and I have to lose it.  I HAVE to get that motivation back to do it.  I don't know where it went, but it's gone.....anyone have any suggestions?  I need someone to kick my ass in gear.  But, moving on.....so I'm in the shower this morning when I realize, "Oh shit!" I have a staff meeting at 7:30!  And guess when I remember this?  Um....7:15.  So, I haul ass out of the shower, start hollaring at the kids to get their boots, etc. on, and get out the door by 7:30.  Was late, but I made it to the meeting before 7:45!  

So, you all know how I made this New Years resolution to be a kinder, more sympathetic version of myself, right?  I am really trying to not speak ill of people, and to find the good in everyone, etc....there is someone this morning that was REALLY testing my limits this morning!  I did well, I didn't say anything.  I kept my mouth shut....but I will tell you what, I really REALLY wanted to go off on this person.  They were being SO negative and mean and nasty, and was cutting down everything Josh and I had to say about what we were doing at this meeting.  She and her little mean, nasty British accent reminded me totally of how a curmudgeonly old spinster would really act....they totally lived up to it.  I don't understand how she can work with people with that nasty attitude.  Josh and I just kept our mouths shut, but I wanted to just say something so bad.....so, yeah....YAY ME for keeping my mouth shut!!
 

Whiney Wednesday

1.  So, I told myself that I wasn't going to get sucked back into the "Bachelor" this season.  I was protesting, because I thought they had done a cop out and was putting Brad back on to humiliate him some more.  So, I was like, "Nope!  Not going to watch.  Can't make me."  Even up to the moment that it came up on Monday, I was still in violent protest.  BUT-then the chick with fangs was premiered in the previews.  DAMNIT!  They sucked me right back in!  I was sat down just to see if this girl really did have fangs, and I ended up watching the whole show.  UGH!  Damn you, ABC, for being so conniving that you were able to hook me back in to the whole disgusting thing. 

2.  It's still colder than a meat locker in my classroom.  The thermostat apparently doesn't work.  It's freezing.  I have to dress like a really stylish homeless person just to be comfortable enough in my classroom to teach Geometry and Algebra.  There's something wrong with that picture.  I'm wearing pants underneath my skirt.  I have socks on over my panty hose to keep my feet and toes warm. 

3.  It was really hard to get out of bed this morning.  I slept so nicely last night.  It was the first night in probably three weeks that I wasn't waking up to a coughing fit.  So, when the alarm went off this morning, I didn't really want to get out of bed and get ready.  Needless to say, because of that fact, and because I hit the alarm and slept for another 11 minutes, I'm not wearing any makeup today. 

4.  I made a New Year's resolution to be a kinder, more sympatheic version of myself this year.  I have found that sometimes, I can be a little negative, and I don't like that.  It makes me feel bad about myself and about the people I'm talking to or about.  So, I resolved to be more conscientious of what I say and how I say it.  Unfortunately, I have to say I'm having a little bit of difficulty.  Dumb people are making it VERY hard for me to bite my tongue and keep my mouth shut.  So far, I've been able to do it, but I do see a slip up in the near future....I'm just sayin'.

5.  Ok, I know this isn't a whine, but I have to say that I LOVE Wii's Just Dance and Just Dance 2!  It is so much fun!  The second one, especially!  It's got really neat dances like Bollywood, the Charleston and Tribal stuff on it.  I love love LOVE it.  It's especially fun when I get to do it with the girls.  If you have a Wii, I highly suggest you get it and try it out.  You'll have a lot of fun.

Happy Frikkin' New Year!

This year, I resolve not to lose weight (isn't that what everyone else resolves to do?) or be healthier, etc....I want to always do that.  This year, I'm going to resolve to be a lot nicer to people, to try not to gossip and talk ill of people.  God help me!!!