So...

I know, I know!  It's been a few weeks since I've posted anything.  No excuses, I've just not done it.  But, I do have some good news!  I got an interview for a teaching position in Tennessee :D  I'm so excited about it.  I can't wait to get down there and impress them with my knowledge and skills!  It's at a suburban school district just outside of Knoxville.  I've been looking at the area, and it sure looks beautiful!  It's far enough away from the Mississippi that we won't get flooded. It's close enough to the mountains that we can enjoy nature :)  And most of all, it's NOT in the city!!!  I'm so tired of teaching inner city.  I want to teach in a school where the kids actually WANT to learn.  So, if you're reading this, please say a prayer that the money is right, and that they offer me a high school position, and that we can make a smooth transition!! 

On to the complaining....my head is killing me.  I have a sinus headache.  It is a killer one today.  I've already taken some sudafed and some pain meds....ugh...just please make it go away. 

Tomorrow, I'm taking off of work. Blondie has a talent show in school, and she wanted me to go.  So I took the day off so I can go see her.  J has the day off, too.  But, instead, he'll be heading out to camp with the golf cart to get everything set up for the weekend.  We're going to be going to a pot luck on Saturday, so I made about 50 strawberries filled with strawberry flavored jell-o, and I'm making some carrot cakes.  Everyone loves my mom's carrot cakes.  They're always asking for the recipe, but I refuse to give that to anyone.  My mom made that recipe up herself when she was in her 30's.  She never shared it with anyone other than my sisters and I, and we promised that we wouldn't ever share it with anyone, either.  It's a family recipe, and it's one of the only "secrets" my mom and I still share, and I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to give that up.  I hope people understand my reasoning behind it.  I'm willing to share any other recipe I have, except that one.  Oh wait, that one and the cream puff recipe, too. 

Ok, I'm going to go lie my head down.  My head is still killing me, and it hasn't stopped.  Think I'm going to take a little rest before it gets any worse.  Later Gator!

I'm sorry, I just have to!

 <----What the hell is this?  Seriously, am I the only person in the world who DOESN'T think that Renee Zellweger is ugly?  Can you honestly sit here reading this, and look at that woman and consider her to be one of Hollywood's most beautiful people?  HOW?  I like to say she's got a "perma-lemon" face.  AKA---she looks like she's been sucking on a super sour lemon, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!  I just don't get how all of America's men (yes, my husband included) considers her to be beautiful.  I don't even think she's PRETTY, let along beautiful!  And I'm sorry to you, Renee, if you do happen to stumble upon my blog post. I'm sure you're a wonderfully charming woman and all, but come on!  Why do you have to have that God Awful look on your face all the time?  What is wrong with putting on some spray tan, and showing those pearly whites of yours every once in a while?  Not to sound mean, but really....you look like an uber-bitch when you pose like that.  You also look like you're trying to hold in one giant, juicy fart!  And not offend those with gastrointestinal issues, but really....am I right, or I right?

Whiney Wednesday

1.  The weatherman said on tv that it had rained for 23 days STRAIGHT in Toledo.  Plus side, the grass is green.  Minus side? Can't walk in it because it's all mushy and squishy.  Unless you like giving your feet a mudbath...

2.  Some people should just make the rest of the world's lives a little easier and just never talk, ever.  Period.  We don't care about how you hate this place, or how you hate this person, or how you're going to "go postal" if someone says one more word to you.  "One More Word."  Ooooh, I'm shaking in my loafers!  Shut up.

3.  Since I'm most likely getting laid off, I've pretty much resigned to the fact that I don't want to get up and go to work in the morning.  Why should I put in 100% if they are just going to dump my ass anyway?  I'm so over it. 

4.  While I'm on the subject...do you REALLY need 8 days to fill out two simple little pieces of paper that should take no longer than, oh, say TWO FUCKING MINUTES?  I drop these papers off on Tuesday of last week (the 26th) at the admin building.  I could have easily just waited there while they filled them out and handed them back to me.  But NO...they needed 48-72 hours to get them done.  Um, really?  How so?  But, me and my lack of interest in being in an altercation, I complied.  Here it is...(please hold while I do the math) 192 fucking hours later, and you're just NOW calling me to tell me that they're done?  WTF lady?  No wonder our school district is in dire straights....we have incompetant people like YOU over there mishandling everything.  If I had been in that position, you would for damn sure know that I'd have gotten it back to you in a timely manner.  That, lady, is just absolutely ridiculous! 

5.  I feel bad.  My good friend has a child with a disability.  She's holding a fundraiser to try and purchase an IPad for her son, because he's non-communicative, and because of our financial instability, I can't contribute to it.  Hubs' job is very slow, and he's not working all but 4 days a week, and my job is all up in the air with stupid corporate layoffs, that I can't afford to give out money that I know full well, I would be able to use to pay a bill or buy food for my children. 

6.  Have I mentioned that I can't wait for the next 21 days to be over?  I'm just done with the year.  I'm over done.  I'm like a crispy, crunchy slice of bacon that's been left out on the counter for too long.  Yeah, it's that bad.  I know you're mentally envisioning it at this very moment. 

7.  I wish there was a way that our house would sell, and we could just up and move to Tennessee.  But-at the moment, I don't see that happening for a long time.  That sucks....it really, really does.  I hate it here. 

8.  Three words.  Bad. Hair. Day.  Enough said.

9.  I hate Blondie's science teacher.  She's a bitch.

10.  I think I wore the wrong kind of panties with this outfit today.  Uncomfortable is the least offensive word I can think of at this very moment.

11.  Men.  Do I need to say more?

12.  Pollen, grass, and molds are not my friends.  They make my mornings miserable.  Go find someone else to annoy you pesky allergens! 

13.  The receiver on my work phone sticks.  So when a call comes in, and I pick it up, I automatically say, "Basta."  But what I don't realize (even though I should because it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME) is that my receiver sticks, and the person on the other end of the line can't hear me.  It's become an absurdly annoying nuance that I can't fix. 

14.  I've been thinking a lot about a certain past supervisor for some reason.  And I hate her even more so today than I did when I worked for her.  I won't wish ill will on anyone, but I won't be sad if I ever hear bad news, let's just put it that way I guess.  Might feel sad for their husband and children, but them?  Nah.

15.  After reading these bullet points I've just typed out, I've realized that I'm a bitter, bitter person right now.  And, I'm not really sure why.  I guess the prospect of not having a job does that to a person.  Fuck.  I guess I'll be bitter all summer, then, huh?

They say a picture is worth a 1,000 words....

RANDOM PICTURE OF THE DAY.  PRETTY MUCH SUMS UP HOW I'M FEELING TODAY!

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore....

I swear to God, I thought my house was going to fall down this morning!  We had one hella storm around 5AM this morning.  I get woken up out of a sound sleep from it. The wind was whipping around so bad it sounded like a train outside.  I got up and looked out the window and it LOOKED like a hurricane!  The trees in the back yard were bending over like hookers!  The rain was so hard and so heavy that you could hardly see the road behind our house.  It was horrid!  I seriously thought my roof was going to rip off.  This was just before 5, and dangit if I couldn't get back to sleep.  I've been up since then.  And the wind hasn't stopped.  It's diminished some, but it's still windy!  The wind outside my classroom window sounds like a creepy wind you hear in those horror movies just before someone gets knocked off in a murder scene!  That "whoooo-hoooooo" type sound.  I wish I could record it so you all can hear it! 

So, guess what I get to do in about an hour and a half???  I get to meet Nate Washington!  From the Tennessee Titans!  He's an alumni of the school I teach at, and he's coming back to speak with the male students at our school.  I'm so sneaking down there to meet him.  It's during my lunch time, so I'll either eat early, or eat later....but I'm not going to miss an opportunity to meet a celebrity.  Whether I follow his team or not!  I'm going to try and get a picture of myself with him for my nephew, who's a big Titans fan.  He'll be excited.  Jealous, but excited! 

Mother's Day is in a couple of weeks.  And all I want is a ticket to see Darius Rucker at the zoo this fall!  I absolutely LOVE Darius!  Seriously.  It's sad.  He's all I listen to anymore, basically.  I have all his CD's on my Ipod, and I have a station dedicated just to him on my Pandora on my phone.  I've even gotten the girls addicted to him.  They call him Hootie though, because that's usually what I refer to him as.  I've always loved him, actually.  I loved him when he was in Hootie and the Blowfish, but I love him even more now that he's a country singer.  He's so great.  Now....if I can just get the husband to agree to getting me the tickets.  I've trained the kids to tell Daddy that Mommy deserves to see Darius for Mother's Day.  I've made my status message on FB dedicated to wanting to see him.  And I've sent him emails with information on how to get the tickets at a discount!  Now, let's all keep our fingers crossed! 

~Later Days!

The times, they are-a changin'

So, recently, the husband has decided that we should move.  He's (oh hell, who am I kidding, I am too) tired of all the crime and stuff in the city.  He hates his job and wants to go somewhere where we can start all over again.  I wanted to go back to PA, to the country side and the area that I grew up in.  He was having nothing of that.  He wants to go somewhere warmer.  I wanted to have some snow and winter.  So, we compromised.  We're going to Tennessee.  We've taken out a loan to get the house fixed up and ready to sell, and I'm in the process of getting my TN teaching license.  I'm currently waiting on the Autism school that I worked at to get their heads out of their butts, and fill out the paperwork I sent them.  The lady on the phone was completely and utterly rude to me yesterday.  If I don't get it by Friday, my butt is on her front step on Monday afternoon, MAKING her sign it in front of me.  Anyway, got off on a tangent.  So, I'm filling out all this paperwork to get the license, and stuff.  John's working on the financial aspect of it all.  It'll take a good year to get everything where we need it to be, and we can put the house up for sale.  I've been looking at jobs online.  Seems like there are a lot of them.  The only thing I don't like is the fact that it's FARTHER from my father than I already am.  I don't like being as far away as I already am, but now we're going to go farther?  But, I can't put my life on hold for something that would inevitably change in the future, anyway, you know?  I just wish that we could go looking down there this summer, and look for places that we really would like to settle down.  We do know that we want to be somewhere where we can have some land....yet close enough to a city that we can drive within like a half hour or so.  I'll be happy if there's just a Walmart and a grocery store around.  I can shop online if I need to :)  So, yeah...that's what I've been doing the past couple of weeks.  What have you been up to?

People who inspire me

I've been thinking a lot lately, about how I became me.  Not the physical, when-a-man-loves-a-woman becoming me, but what, and mainly WHO, helped shape me into who I am today.  I know I didn't just get this way myself.  I know that I was inspired, and molded into the person I am.  And, I think it's about time to recognize those people. 

First and foremost, my parents.  If it weren't for them, and the way they raised me and WHERE they raised me, I know for a fact that I wouldn't be who I am today.  My parents were the most loving, caring, and supportive parents a kid could ever ask for!  Yeah, they were strict.  But, I honestly believe that it is because of that strictness that got me through to where I am today.  They didn't let me act a fool.  They didn't let me up on my responsibilities at home or at school.  I was responsible for the outcome of my actions, whether they were good or not. If they WERE good, I was praised for it.  If it wasn't good, well, I was reprimanded for it.  My mom was always there for me.  She was always available for me to talk to, and she very rarely raised her voice to me.  If she did, I completely and utterly deserved it.  She had my back 110%.  And I miss her every moment, of every day of my life.  Same with my dad.  He is stoic.  He is my hero.  He was there for me for everything....whether he wanted to be or not.  I know there were many a day he didn't feel like driving 70-some odd miles to Erie just to see me twirl my flag in the marching band competition.  But-he did it.  Because that's what a good dad does. 

Mrs. Cummings was one of my high school english teachers.  It's because of her, and how she taught us, that I decided to become a teacher.  I remember seeing her at my mom's funeral, and I told her that.  She didn't seem to understand why I would choose her to be my mentor.  Why her?  Because she showed me a passion for the language.  She showed me how the written word can conjure up so many emotions and feelings from just reading them.  She showed me that when I write down my thoughts, that they not only are my thoughts, but conjure up thoughts from everyone who reads them.  Well, hell...if it weren't for Mrs. Cummings, you wouldn't be reading my blog right now.  Because of her, I learned to love to read and write. 

Carolyn Fournier (nee Woughter) was one of my co-op teachers during my student teaching.  It's funny, because I think I learned more from her than all 4 1/2 years of my undergrad degree, and I was only with her for four months!  She taught me what it was like to be a REAL teacher.  She taught me things they don't teach you in college.  She taught me that the 2 people you want to suck up to are NOT your principal and department head....but to the custodian and the secretary.  "Melody, they can make you or break you," she'd always say.  Wiser words have never been spoken!  Those are the first people I get in good with when I start at a new school.  If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have heat my in classroom, or any of the office supplies I need!!! 

In contrast to that, I also had a teacher inspire me to better myself, to prove THEM wrong!  I had this math teacher in high school we'll call Ms. F.  She was an unmarried, cranky and mean woman.  You could just TELL she didn't like kids.  I remember her saying to me one time, after I didn't understand a certain concept in algebra, "If you don't get it after the 3rd time, you're never going to.  And I'm not going to explain it to you again."  It was that particular comment that sent me spiraling into a deep and putrid hated for math, and for her.  It was also that statement that made me want to prove to her that I would eventually become a teacher, and one that was better at her job than HER.  I think, in a way, she's the reason I became a special education teacher.  I hated the way she spoke to me; like I was stupid or something.  And I didn't want another child to ever have to hear that.  So, I vowed to become that teacher who wouldn't allow their children to fail.  So yeah, I guess in a weird and twisted sort of way, Ms. F DID inspire me.  She inspired me to be better.  She inspired me to be a good teacher, and to love what I do.  Don't go asking for me to say thanks, though...because, in the words of the great Rhett Butler, Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn! 

I think, besides my parents, my biggest inspiration has been my sister.  Sis is my best friend.  I would burn bridges, break legs, and take names for her.  I can count on probably one hand the amount of times I've actually called her by her real name.  To me, she's my Sis.  To my chidren, she's "Aunt Sissy."  She has been my mentor, my confidant, my friend, and a surrogate parent for me my whole life.  I can't even think of words that express what she means to me.  Thank you doesn't ever seem enough.  She's provided me with a lending ear when I needed it.  She's provided me with whatever it was I needed, if I couldn't get it myself.  She has been there for EVERYTHING.  My high school graduation, my college graduation, my wedding, the birth of my children (ok, not AT the birth itself, but an extremely short period of time afterwards!)...you name it, she was there.  She is, and always will be, the one person I will always want to make proud.  There isn't anything that I don't do that I don't want her to be proud of me for.  Even at 34, I can't seem to shake that.  I'm old enough to make myself proud, but I just need to have that approval from her. 

So, there you have it.  The people who made me, ME!  Who inspired you to become who you are today?

A History Lesson

It's funny how something as simple as a piece of cardboard can trigger such good memories for a person.  It happened to me this morning.  I had gone out last night and bought myself a new dress to wear to this presentation I'm giving tomorrow, and I got myself some new pantyhose to go along with it.  I opened up the package of hose this morning, and I pulled out that piece of cardboard that comes with it to make it look all smooth and what not.  It just flooded my brain with memories of my maternal grandmother.  My grandma Corthell never EVER wore pants.  Ever.  Period, end of story.  And she wouldn't be caught dead without some pantyhose on, either.  The one thing I remember my Grandma doing was saving all those little pieces of cardboard from her pantyhose packages, and putting them in the bottom drawer of her closet in her bedroom.  She had a box of crayons and a box of colored pencils in there, too.  It was customary for me to come in my grandma's house, then head straight to the "coloring drawer," as I liked to call it, and spend probably 3/4 of my time there, drawing pictures and things for my grandma.  My grandma wasn't always the nicest person.  She had some mental problems.  She was pretty Bi-Polar, no lie...like she really did.  She had medication for it.  But, she always seemed to have a soft spot for her grandchildren.  This was one of her little things that she could do to make her grandchildren happy.  So...after having THAT memory, of course it brought back memories of my granddad.  He used to make bikes from old bike parts.  He used to make stuff out of wood....he had this barn in the back yard that he turned into his "workshop."  I used to go back into that ALL the time, and just wander and roam around that place.  To me, it was a giant, vast open space full of cool things to look at and play with.  To an adult, I'm sure it was just an image of a hoarder.  My grandpa had so much junk in that building.  But, to me, it was amazing.  I would spend hours in there, exploring and finding new things every time.  Plus, they lived way out in the country.  There were a few houses on the road they lived on, but for the most part, it was nothing but land.  The old cemetary up the street from their house, I used to go up there all the time, too!  They had gravestones that dated back into the 17 and 1800's.  I remember once, my grandma and mom went with me, and they showed me the stones of my great grandparents, my great uncle Seth, and my great Great Grandfather, Wellington Nottingham.  It was wonderous to me.  To think that my history was right there....in the ground below me. 

All of these memories that I had, they made even MORE memories come back in my head.  Memories from my dad's parents, memories from spending time with MY parents, memories from when I was a child.  I had a wonderful childhood.  I really did.  I really to attribute it to the area in which I grew up.  At the time, especially when I was a teenager, I couldn't stand that place.  I hated being so far away from everything.  But now, I long to go back home to Eldred.  I miss that, and I want my children to experience the childhood I had.  I want them to be shielded from the horrors they find in the city.  The lonliness of being one of a million people.  In Eldred, I was Melody.  Kenny and Jan's daughter.  Here?  Here, I'm nobody.  I walk down the street and no one knows me.  In Eldred, I couldn't walk 2 feet without seeing someone I knew.   Someday, I will move back to Eldred.  I know it will have to be when I'm alone.  When John is gone (if he goes before me) and when the children are grown.  BUT---it will happen.  I could go on and on for hours about the memories I've been having today, but then this would turn into a novel.  I think it's best to just leave it at that, to know that one simple, miniscule little piece of cardboard could cause a tsunami of memories that make me yearn for the days when I was young, naive, and carefree. 

~Later Days

ARGH!

I'm so frustrated right now.  My stupid blood sugars are up, and I don't know why.  I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing.  I'm eating the way I'm supposed to, I'm exercising the way I'm supposed to, and they're still high in the mornings.  My day times, I'm cool with.  The numbers are ok in the day.  It's the overnights that have me so ticked off and worried.  Every morning lately, I wake up and I check them, and they're in the high 130's-140's range!  (For those of you not privy to dibetic knowledge, normal is between 90-120) BAH!!!  I don't get it!  I'm already taking 2 pills a night....I don't even want to know what he's going to have me do with it now.  I'm sure add some sort of pill like Januvia or whatnot.  I just have been trying to avoid this at all costs.  I've even lost another 10lbs.  You'd think that would help, but it hasn't.  God....why does this kind of crap have to happen to me???  So, I called and left a message for him to call me.  He's not in that office today, and won't be until tomorrow.  So I'm sure he'll call me after he sees all his patients tomorrow...which is usually around like 6 or 7 PM.  I've waited this long, I guess I can wait a little more, huh? It's just so damn frustrating to know that I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be, and it's still not working.  So goes the life of a diabetic, I guess.  Trial and Error, and testing and all that jazz. 

On a happy note, as of today, there's only 34 days of school left until summer!  YAY!  And four more days until I'm on Spring Break!  Double YAY!!!  I so need a vacation.  I love my work, don't get me wrong.  The kids are great.  But, you know...you see the same people day in and day out week after week after week...you do honestly get kind of sick of seeing them.  I think those 10 days off will be just what the doctor ordered (pun totally intended).  Maybe after that my morning sugars won't be so bad.  LOL  I can't wait for summer and warmer weather to get here.  I'm itching to get outside and get my gardens set up.  My perrenials are already starting to pop up in the front and side gardens.  I do need to get out back and weed my strawberry patch!  There's weeds about 5ft tall in there, probably choking out my strawberries.  I can't wait for the pool to be ready, so I can hang out in that.  I just can't wait, period.  I'm tired of winter and cold weather, etc...

We apologize for the delay. The operator of this blog has been incapacitated.

It's been a busy couple of weeks!  My friend, Roomie, promptly texted me and basically told me to get my ass back in the blogging business!  LOL.  I'm in the process of getting ready for a conference that I'm presenting at in Findlay, OH next week, so I've been busy with that.  My apologies to anyone who's missed my insatiable sarcasm and wit.  :)  I promise I was not ignoring you! 

I don't think I really have anything too awful sarcastic to say today.  I'm kind of void of all sarcasm at the moment.  In saying that, though, does that sound sarcastic?  Oh wait, I do have something to talk about.  The husband and I took Brownie and Blondie out to eat on Wednesday night.  We ended up going to Fricker's on the Field in downtown Toledo.  We didn't get that much to eat.  The girls each shared some frickin' chicken chunks, and they each got a side (Brownie got cole slaw, and Blondie got a salad).  My dinner consisted of frinkin' chicken chunks and some fries (and a $2.22 tall beer) and JB got about the same thing.  Except he had one more beer than I did.  But, now I know why they call it "Fricker's!"  Cause you have a  frickin' heart attack when you get the bill!  Not a whole heck of a lot of food came out to over FIFTY dollars?  I think I was raped at Fricker's!  Seriously, they violated me by charging me so much money for something not worth it!  Now, had it been like, oh...I don't know...prime rib, a baked potato, and caviar...yeah, then $50 wouldn't seem so bad.  But for chunks of chicken?  Especially chunks of chicken that didn't even have enough sauce on them?  What the fuck, you know????  It used to be that they slathered the chicken in the sauce you order, but not anymore.  You barely get any!  And if you ask for some more sauce on the side, you have to frickin' pay for it!  I certainly think that will be the last time we go to Fricker's for dinner.  It was Frickin' Rape!!!  No, Fricker's!  You shall no longer take my financial innocense, and you will NOT be happy about it.  Find some other schmuck to sodomize from now on! 

The girls have been off on Spring Break all week.  Whilst JB and I have been working.  My good friend, Dawn, she offered to take the girls for me while I was working.  She has 2 boys about the same age, and she was off on vacation.  Which was nice, because I didn't have to pay the sitter.  But, I have to admit it was a PITA.  First off, I had to get up earlier than normal, and I had to get the GIRLS up earlier than normal.  Believe you me, they were SOOOOOO little rays of Sunshine getting up at 6:15AM (NOT!) and get everyone ready to get out the door by 7:15.  Then I had to drive all the way across town to drop them off, and then the back way to work.  Then I had to do it all over again, but backwards, after school to pick them up.  Now that I think about it, I probably didn't save that much money, because I probably spent the money I would have paid in babysitting to fill up my car!  Speaking of rape....  I can only think of finishing off next week, and then being on my OWN vacation while JB and the girls are gone all day long for 10 days!  It's going to be glorious!  Although, I am going to be painting Brownie's room.   She wants her room painted salmon.  It's a pretty color.  I think she'll like it :)  But, that'll only be a couple of days' worth of work, and then I have the rest of it off.  Ahh....I can feel the relaxing muscles as I type! 

Well, it's off to keep preparing for next week!  In the iconic words of "The Arnold,"  I'll Be Back!

~Later Days!

If I could write a letter to me

I was listening to the radio this afternoon when I heard that song from Brad Paisley...the one where he writes a letter to himself at 16.  It got me thinking.  What would I say to myself if I were to do that?  Write a letter to my former self?  When I really sat down and thought about it, I started coming up with a plethora of things that I probably would say to myself in the past.  Here are just a few snippets of what I would say to my former self:

1)  First of all, your first love will NOT be the boy in high school whom  you can't even look at without turning seventeen shades of red (Ahem,  will the real Joe Sherry please stand up?).  You will go through high school and college, dating a barrage of boys and young men that really mean nothing to you, until you meet the man who is now your husband.  Enjoy it.  Have fun.  But, realize that this is just a trip until you get to your final destination.

2)  Your late night trips to Taco Bell and Dunkin' Donuts with your college friends will possibly be one of the most memorable thoughts in your history.  Far above the boys you dated....FAR above them.

3)  I would have told myself to not bother working at that summer camp, or at that convenience store, and to just work at Cedar Point every sunner, instead. You'd find that some of the best friends you could ever make will come out of that experience.

4)  All those times you spent hating certain people in high school were not worth it.  In fact, it'll do nothing.  (yes, this is true.  There were two certain people I adamantly loathed....on top of one particular teacher).  Don't stress it.  It doesn't amount to anything but pure resentment in your heart, many years later. 

5)  All those concerts you sang in?  Yeah, they don't amount to anything either.  You do NOT grow up to be a famous country or classical singer.  In fact, you drop out of music school in the first semester.  Don't bother. 

6)  I would tell my former self that people come into your life for a season, and then they pass.  This goes for all aspects of life...high school, college, even afterwards.  There are people who come forever, and there are people who pass for a season.  Enjoy them while they're there....but don't worry when they're not.  They were meant to be there for a reason, and they were meant to leave for a reason, too.   

7)  Even though you say in high school that you do NOT want children (yes, this is also true!), you end up with two beautiful, loveable little girls that you would kill to protect.  And you're going to like it that way.

8)  You WILL be a mini-van mom! And, regardless of what you say now, you won't care what others think!

9)  Don't get that credit card in college!  Don't do it! It'll ruin your life!  Nothing at Sears is so worth going through the years of bad credit you will go through!

10)   Make sure you listen to your heart.  People will try to persuade you in either direction, except the one you want to go.  Don't listen to them. It will save you a lot of hard work, pain, and embarrassment if you just listen to what your heart is telling you. 

11)  Eat healthy now!  Get in shape....so you don't develop diabetes in the future.  It's a pain in the ass.  It's not pleasant.  You won't like it.

12)  Listen to Mom and Dad.  Yeah, right now they sound like fools that know nothing.  But, trust me, they do.  And while you're listening, love them, because they won't be around forever.  And tell them you love them every chance you get.  You'll miss it when the opportunity is no longer there.

13)  Don't eat the fish at TGIF's in Elmira.  You end up in the ER with an allergic reaction and a really long needle of epinephrin in your ass. 

14)  Believe it or not, you WILL shop at second hand stores....and you will actually ENJOY it!!!

15)  You cannot survive on Raman Noodles and Spaghettios.  Learn to cook now! 

16)  Have a wedding reception after you get married.  I don't regret anything in my life now, except for the fact that we didn't have one.  I never got to share my love and marriage with my friends and family.

17)  Accept the fact that the world does not revolve around you.  You actually have to adapt yourself to work with the world.  You revolve around it.  The sun will rise every morning, whether you do or not.  The quicker you learn this, the easier it will be on you. 

18)  And last, but not least, work hard at everything you do.  Be sympathetic, be polite, and never use vulgar language in the company of strangers.  It makes you look dumb and uneducated.  You've, I mean, WE'VE, worked too hard to get where we are now to have someone look at me in a negative light.

What would you tell your former self???? 

Whiney Wednesday

1.  I don't know why I even bother with this stupid blog.  It's not like anyone ever reads it, anyway.  I'm probably just wasting my time.

2.  Damn headcold.  I still can't breathe out of my left nostril.

3.  I'm tired. Blondie woke me up at 3:30AM with a bloody nose.  I snipped the tip of a tampon and shoved it up her nose and made her go back to sleep.  Which leads to....

4.  I'm a horrible mother.  Blondie had a bloody nose in the middle of the night, and I shoved a tampon up her nose and made her go back to bec because I was tired.

5.  We're out of decaf coffee at home, and I'm cranky.  I have to drink blueberry tea.

6.  I have to go to the funeral home tonight.  I have an aversion to funeral homes.  I don't deal well with death.

7.  I have a certain someone in my vicinity today (of whom shall remain nameless) that I really can't stand, but I have to put up with them.  Which makes me hate them even more.

8.  I'm so tired of this shitty weather.  It's Spring now, damnit!  Why, then, is it rainy and cold and we're supposed to get some snow tonight?  As I said in my previous post....Ma Nature is a bee-otch with some serious bi-polar issues!

9.  The next 47 school days cannot go quickly enough.  I'm so ready for summer.

10.  And last, but not least.....I hate being a woman sometimes!

Mother Nature...

Lady, you're nothing but a TEASE!  What the hell, woman!?!?!  You give us these wonderful days, full of warmer weather, bright sun, chirping birdies....and then you go ahead and you take it all away!  The next three or four days are supposed to be crappy, rainy, cold, and yucky weather!  I do NOT like you right now.  I liken you to a stripper.  You show us all your goods, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, you give an emphatic, "Oh no, you dit-int!  I don't think you're ready for this jelly!" and you take it all away and give us nothing.  Frankly, lady...I'm done with nasty weather.  We've had months and months of darkness, clouds, wind, cold, you name it...we got it.  I'm finished, lady.  I'm finished.  Why must you tease us so?  I'm ready to get outside and go for walks to the store.  I'm ready to take my bike and go riding.  I'm ready to get into my gardens....but NOOOOOOO, you just HAVE to throw some more shitty weather in to the mix, don't ya?  Give it a rest, woman!  Bring on the sun.

On another note, I've been looking at my stats for this blog.  I have been getting an increase in viewers, but no one is leaving a comment.  Come on, people....leave me some love!  <3  I've also noticed an increase in viewership from other countries.  How come?  Am I really that interesting to people in Iran and Kazikstan?  What on God's green Earth would I have to say to those people that would be so interesting to them?  I'm not like, teaching them how to make pipe bombs or anything!  Can they even read what I'm writing?  I mean, does my ranting and raving turn into whatever language they speak in Iran?  What IS that, anyway? Is there a language called Iranian?  Do Kazikstanians speak Russian or Kazikstani?  So, those of you who are from foreign lands, and reading my blog...don't be strangers!  Leave me some love, too!  Let me know what it is that is so interesting to you.  Depending on your answer...I may just do more of it.....but don't ask me to make a pipe bomb from you.  Unless it is filled with dangling participles, and explodes with run on sentences, I can't be of much help!  LOL 

Later Days!

An open letter to Seth Rogan:

Dear Seth,
It's me, M.  I've been such a longtime and loyal fan of yours.  I've always had a soft spot in my heart for those celebrities that think outside the box, and show the world who they are, for real.  But, sadly, I have taken you off your pedestal, and you have been replaced with Jonah Hill.  Why, do you ask?  Well, frankly Seth, it's because you're not fat.  Not anymore, that is.  You've gone inside the box.  You've changed your image to fit that of celebrity Hollywood.  What happened to the chunky, adorable, squeezable little Seth Rogan from "Knocked Up" that I fell in celebrity lust with?  What happened to that beer belly that jiggled with delight every time you laughed?  What happened to those man boobs that bounced with joy every time you walked?  Unfortunately, they've gone to the vast wasteland that is called "celebrity Hollywood."  What the hell, Rogan???  Why did you have to go and change yourself?  And don't go telling me that it's because you "wanted to be healthy" or that you "did it for your upcoming nuptuals" to that wa-hore-ay you call a fiancee.  Please....

Everyone loved you because you didn't fit the norm.  You were all about the comedy and the acting....but you sold out, Seth!  You're fit now!  I want my little blob back!  I want that loveable little chubby guy with the cheeks you want to squeeze and the curly hair.  But now?  Now look at you!  You're hot...you're trying to epitomize the Hollywood star.  What the hell happened to you?!?!?!  You disappoint, Seth.  You disappoint.  Listen to us, Seth.  You're going to lose fans AND jobs in Hollywood, because you're hot now.  Now who's going to play the loveable underdog?  Certainly not you.  You're going to be stuck doing stupid romantic comedies that make no money now.  Sigh.....I have to turn my adoration to Jonah Hill.  At least HE still has some decency to stay chubby and make me laugh. 

Sincerely,

M....a faded away fan.

My poor Blondie

Blondie is sick.  This kid NEVER gets sick.  NEVER.  She's had a fever between 101-102 for over 2 days now.  She was complaining of her throat hurting.  So, I had to stay home and make an appointment to take her in.  She's got an appointment at 10:50.  I'm hoping it is just a virus and not strep.  That crap's contagious, isn't it?  Anyways, this is the first day she's ever missed school.....EVER.  She's had perfect attendance ever since Kindergarten....and she's in 4th grade!  She's pretty miffed about that.  Not much I could do, though, because they would have just sent her home, anyhow.  She's downstairs right now, watching Netflix on Wii.  I'm not going to lie, when I say it kind of freaks me out when she gets sick, because like I said, she NEVER gets sick!!! I'm sure I'm overanalyzing it, just like I always do.  I'll keep everyone posted on her progress. :)

This right here pretty much sums up how I'm feeling today.  I don't understand how some people can be so self absorbed into their own lives that they don't think about, or care about, anyone else...their family included.  My mom is probably rolling over in her grave right now.  It's days like this that I wish she were still alive, so I could call her up and talk to her.  I need another mother's perspective on something right now.  I don't want to air dirty laundy online, so I won't say what this is all about.  But, I do have to say that I am completely and utterly disappointed in the action and behavior of others today.  I know that my blog is normally riddled with sarcastic remarks and obscenities on a daily basis, but today I just can't do that.  I don't know how to explain it.  I really don't.  It's kind of a mixture between being pissed off, and being sad.  Not sad for me, though.  Sad for someone else. I kind of feel like I want to hit someone, and then cry about it.  Like I said, it's a tough feeling to describe.  Mainly because it affects people close to me.  Oh well....all I can say is that I am NOT the one that can change it. Only certain people can change their attitude.  No one can make them. 

Bloody Hell!

And I mean that in every aspect of the word!  I've had THREE, count them, THREE bloody noses today!  I must have had a scab or something in there from my sinuses being all f'd up, and with the stagnant and dry air, oh lovely....I had to get ready for work with a freakin' tampon shoved up my nostril today.  It would not stop!  It was bad.  And I just got done having another one.  I hope this is no indication of how my day is going to be from here on out.  Cause, frankly, that would just suck. 

Took the kids to the Sylvania Playland (http://www.sylvaniaplayland.com/) yesterday.  They had a BALL!  It's the neatest little place.  They have all sorts of swingsets, slides, and jumpy houses, etc, for the kids to play in.  I had to drag them out of that place.  We went for a birthday party, and I thought that the place was only for parties, but NO!  You can go for an hour (5$) or unlimited play ($8)!!!  Had I known this, I would have had those kids there every flippin' weekend this winter!  They were running around, getting out all sorts of energy!  And with the winter we had this year, they so needed that outlet.  Dang, I wish I would have known about that place earlier.  It's a great place for kids. 

I hate days like this!

It rained overnight, and so, with the temperatures being lower than it should, the water that fell, turned to ice.  There are accidents all over the city, and they have the expressway by my house shut down.  I didn't know this, getting ready for work.  I left at my normal time, because I only work a few miles from home.  I live in between two entrance ramps to the expressway.  I could take either on any given day.  Today, I went to one, and as I drove up to it, I looked down from the overpass and saw that the expressway was down to a crawl.  So I said to myself, "Ok, self....just go take the other one.  It's bound to be better up that way."  So, that's exactly what I did.  Only, when I got down there, I got stuck in traffic because that, too, was closed.  Great!  At this time, it's about 8:10.  I have to have my classroom open around 8:20 for the students.  My only other option would be to go back over toward the first entrance, go past it, and take the long way with the city roads and side streets.  So, needless to say, I didn't get to work on time.  I got here about 8:30.  Only ten minutes late, but let me tell you, it was not a good start to the day.  And before that, Brownie was having a meltdown at home.  She begged and begged me last night to put a peel off mask on her face.  Even after telling her numerous times that it would hurt coming off, and that she wouldn't like it, she still insisted.  SO, I did....and she threw a fit when it was time to take it off.  She wouldn't let me take the rest of it off.  So she slept with it on her face last night.  Well, I HAD to take it off this morning before she went to school.  She threw a roayl fit!  I've never seen her like this.  She was thrashing, kicking, and screaming the whole time.  Now, had she just listened to me when I told her that she wouldn't like it, I wouldn't have been in that predicament.  Note to self:  when you know something is not going to end up well, don't do it!  I had to waste 10 minutes of my time this morning fussing with her face, getting those pieces of mask off so she would be able to get to school.  Had I done that, maybe I would have left earlier, and then maybe I wouldn't have been late to school.  You know, what my mom used to say is right:  Hindsight is 20/20.  I should have listened to her more.  Now that I'm older, it really is true.  I should have listened to my parents more.  Actually, I've turned into my parents.  I find myself disciplining my kids the same way they did me.  I find myself SAYING things that they used to say.  Example:  "You just wait until your father gets home!" and see the kids run in fear.  I even look at myself in the mirror and see expressions on my own face that I used to cringe at when my mom and dad made.  It's amazing...I really have turned into them.  I can't say that I'm unhappy about it though.  As a teen, you always say, "I am never going to be like my parents."  And as you grow up, and you mature and have a family of your own, you realize that they aren't that bad after all.  I tell this to my students all the time.  A lot of them, they get angry with their parents and they move out.  They don't think about the future.  What kid does, you know?  So, I tell them all the time how the only reason their parents do what they do is because they love their children.  And I also tell them that they shouldn't take their parents for advantage because they won't be around forever.  I tell them how I would give anything to have just one more moment with my mother.  But I can't, because she's gone, and I can't have her back.  They don't see the repercussions of their actions when they're teenagers.  I hope and pray that my daughters learn the same way I did, and I pray that, when they grow up and have THEIR own families, that they say and see things in them that they used to see and hear in me. 

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat.....

I think Tuesday was National Smelly Person day.  Seriously....I had to go to the grocery store, and I was walking up and down the aisles.  I think I passed every smelly, non-showered, tooth missing adult in the city of Toledo.  It was so bad with one person, in fact, that I literally smelled their stench all the way down the aisle before I even got to them, AND afterwards.  It stuck in my nose.  It was horrendous.  I got out my BBW hand lotion and put it on, JUST so I could smell it and get rid of the smell of rotting flesh in my nose.  I don't know how people do it.  I really don't.  The one thing I tell my children is, "The one thing you always want to do is smell good!"  No one likes a stinker.  No one.  So, anyhow....I proceed on my way to the check out, and I get in one particular lane, and Bam....there it is again, the smell of a homeless person living under a bridge.  There's another stinky ahead of me in the line.  At this point, I'm just like, "REALLY?"  I didn't care if it was a short line.  There was no way I was going to stand there and voluntarily sniff the putridness.  I got out of line and moved to another one...a longer one, but I didn't care.  Now, don't go chastizing me quite yet.  I understand that there are some people who really ARE homeless and can't help it.  But those people aren't in the grocery stores, buying cases upon cases of Pepsi Max and bags of Chicken fingers.  No.....those people are actually homeless.  THESE people just apparently don't give a rat's ass about how they look or smell.  They don't care that people pass out as they walk by.  They don't care that no amount of stick ups in the world would hamper their stench.  They have the money to buy a 24pk of Budweiser, but they can't buy a bar of soap and some shampoo?  Give me a break! 

On another note, Brownie's birthday party went off without a hitch.  She had so much fun, dressing up in her Fancy Nancy tiara and having tea and cupcakes with her friends.  She looked so darn cute in her dress and tiara.  Here she is, smiling from ear to ear. All the girls got to take home their own tiara and even their cups and saucers.  Their goody bags had girly stuff in it, like nail polishes, hair pretty ties, cookies, etc....they loved them, and they all had a great time.   

 

Murphy's Law is a sucky law!

You ever have one of those days that, if something CAN go wrong, it WILL?  They call them Murphy's Law days?  Yeah, count me in as one of the probably thousands of people in America having one today.  Seriously, it's true!  It all started when I couldn't sleep around 3AM.  I woke up to go to the bathroom, and the dog wanted out.  So, I let him out, and in the midst of shutting the sliding door back up, I somehow managed to squish my big toe in between the door and the wall.  Then, the God forsaken dog took forever out there.  Why couldn't he just go out, pee, poop, whatever, and then come back in?  Noooo, he has to frolic in the moon light while I'm lying on the couch dead tired.  So, eventually he DID come in, and I go back to bed, only to wake up less than 2 hours later, not able to sleep anymore.  So, I get up.  Once again, I let the dog outside.  This time, I look up and what do I see?  A nice, big, fat full moon!  And you know what came out of my mouth?  "Aw, CRAP!"  Yeah, a full moon is a teacher's worst nightmare.  I used to laugh at my mom when I was younger because she would tell me that a full moon always made children and old people act all weird.  Um, yeah....I'm not laughing anymore.  It's completely true.  The kids DO act all crazy when there's a full moon out!  And once again, my mom has proven herself right!!!  Even from beyond, she's still correcting me ;)  Then, it's just been a myriad of wrong doings from then on out.  Like I said, if it CAN go wrong, it WILL!  I think I may need a couple of glasses of wine tonight to relax....

Ding Dong, the witch is gone, the Bachelor Witch, the Witchy Witch...

Ding Dong, the Bachelor Witch is gooonnnnneee!  It's about damn time, Brad 2.0!  You've had all of America wondering why you hadn't canned Michelle's touckus weeks ago, but last night you revealed just WHY you kept the woman around.  While all of us were hearing the Psycho shower scene theme song whenever you were with Michelle, the only thing you were hearing was the hum of your boner that you were getting from her.  You revealed on national television that the only thing you had with her was extreme sexual attraction.  And you put emphasis on EXTREEEEME.  "Uh, yeah...I may have thought you were the biggest bitch on the face of the planet, but DAYUM!  Your rack is huge and your body is smokin', so I kept your annoying butt around for a while.  At least until I got to roll around on the beach with you like a porn star!"  So, yeah.  I'm not going to lie.  I'm addicted to the Bachelor, and I'm glad Michelle is gone.  Or, shall I say "Senorita Psychopath!"  My prediction right now is that he's going to end up with Chantel N, the administration assistant from Washington.  He's too creeped out by death to be with Shawntel O.  Emily's kid is going to be scared shitless of him, and she's going to say no thank you to him, and the dentist....well, he MAY have a chance with her.  She's SEEMS kind of normal.  Aw, hell....who am I kidding?  No one that goes on national television to "find love" is normal.  But, if I had to say, she's the most normal out of the 4 of them.  So, ok, I change my prediction.  It's BETWEEN Chantel O and the dentist.

LOL, I was looking at the suspension list the other day.  Now, granted....I teach children who have abnormal names.  But this one?  This one in particular stood out when I saw it.  I'm not going to say first what it was that stood out.  The name was, get this:  Areola.  Um, hellOOOOO, did you NOT know your body parts when you were giving birth and naming your daughter?  This poor child...no wonder she's getting suspended!  Her mommy named her after a boob part!  That would be like me naming either Brownie or Blondie something like Uvula!  Come on, now....there's GOT to be SOME sort of common sense in that brain of yours to think of something other than Areola!  I need a ghetto name.  Any suggestions?

Dear Butt---

Please get yourself motivated today, because frankly, my dear, I could give a damn.  I always loved that movie.  Long as all get out, but it was still great.  Ah, to be Scarlett O'Hara. I'd have all the ammenities at my beck and call, and a hot military officer swooning over me.  That's the life!  Instead, I have to work my ass off to pay for my mediocre, yet, comfortable home.  Don't get me wrong!  Please, because I love my life.  I do.  It's just that...oh, come on...you know you've dreamed it too!  Haven't you ever wanted to just be that person, kinda like Paris Hilton or one of the Kardashians, that are filfthy stinking rich, but don't have to work an ounce for what they have?  You know you have!  We all have.  We've all dreamt of being able to go to some high end store and buy whatever you want.....but instead, we're the Viviennes (via "Pretty Woman" fame) of the world.  We go in there and the staff look at us like we're wearing rags and cardboard shoes.  On a side note, I'm sure that cardboard shoes are pretty comfortable, though.)  A girl can dream, but reality is that I have to work.  JB has to work.  And likely, my children will have to work when they grow up.  I guess it builds character.  I didn't have everything handed to me growing up.  Neither did JB.  We had to work for whatever we got.  I guess, just get over it, huh?  It's not going to change.  I'm not going to wake up in the morning and realize that I've won $50 million in the lottery.  Wouldn't it be nice, though?  To be a Kardashian?  Think about it...what do they do?  They have people who cook for them.  They have people who clean for them.  They have people who take care of their money for them.  They have PUBLICISTS!  What in God's creation would I do if I had a publicist?  Oh, the drama I could create!  To be able to just go to the mall, and go to the Coach store and have your pick of hand bags?  THAT right there would be worth it for me!  Damn!  Instead, I stand outside the store, looking in through the windows.  I'm drooling like a St. Benard in heat over the handbags.  They're so well within my reach, but yet so far away.  It's like a long lost lover that you yearn for but can never have.  If I were a Kardashian, I could buy the whole damn store!  Take that, you uppity snotty bitch clerk!  I'm a Kardashian, damnit.  If I say I want every damn back in the store, I will get every damn bag in the store, and you can't stop me!  I need a Kardashian name.....Kandy.  That's it! From now on, I will no longer be known as M.  I shall forth be known as Kandy Kardashian.  The long lost sister of Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe. :D  YAY ME! 

Cold coffee and even colder mornings

Can there actually be rednecks in the city?  No, seriously, can there?  The reason I ask, is because today, when I went to the gas station to get me some decaf coffee (yes, I'm trying not to drink any caffeine.....I had a blood pressure scare at the doctor, and now I'm retardedly obsessed with making sure it's kept down) I saw something that took me by complete surprise.  I walk in, and head over toward the coffee station.  And there, standing before me, in full out redneck style, was this woman!  She was, oh, I'd say, about 30.  She was standing in front of me, making her coffee.  And now you ask, "So why is that redneck-y?"  Well, she was dressed to the nine in tye-dye slippers, a pair of Valentine's Day socks, a calf length white nightie with little flowers on it, and a robe!  YES!  In the middle of a city, there's a woman getting herself some extra caffeine coffee.  I just kinda shake my head and go about my business.  I meet up again with her at the mixing station, you know-where you can put creamers and what no into your coffee.  I'm just there to get a lid, but here I see her put her purse up on the counter, open it wide, and then grab two giant handfuls of Amaretto and cream de menthe creamers, and throw them into her purse.  TO WHICH, when she saw me seeing her do so, she turns to me and says:  get this......."I'm having some friends over this morning for coffee."  I just smile at her with the "what the fuck are you, an alien?" look on my face, I'm sure, and do the whole head nod and "oh" that aptly goes along with it.  Then, I leave and go up to the register, pay my $1.49 for my large decaf, and proceed out the door.  As I'm walking out, I hear her say to the lady at the register, "I'll take three packs of marlboro light, menthols."  Again, I just shake my head and walk away....I guess she really needed her cafeinne and nicotine fix this morning, to go out in public looking like the mom from Married with Children.  God help her children......I could only imagine. 

BLESS YOUR HEART

I heard this great quote today from my friend Courtney (check out her blog at http://patienceprogressperseverance.blogspot.com/ )  "You don't have to be hateful.  You just have to say 'bless your heart' instead."  This is a great thing that came almost at the most opportune moment.  I had a REALLY hard time this afternoon.  I'l spare you the details, but it was just really difficult.  Having to deal with certain people just make me crazy.I really contemplated saying something to this person, but then I got on Facebook and saw this post from Court.  Like I said, it'ls coming at the most opportune moment that it could.  SO.....needless to say, I'm going to sounding a lot like a southern belle from now on!  Piss me off?  "Bless Your Heart!"  Cut me off in traffic?  "Well, Bless your heart!" (I can't promise there won't be a rather unkind gesture to accompany that one.)  Have a student tell me to F*** off?  "Well, thank you Shenaynay.  Bless your little heart!"  The snow plow man just plowed all the snow into my driveway?  "Oh my!  Bless your cold, black heart" 

It's like crystal meth....you can't stop it.

 There are some REALLy weird chicks on the Bachelor this season.  REALLY WEIRD.....let's delve into Brad Womack 2.0's season of the Bachelor, and see what sort of weird upcommings there are.  And please, read my disclaimer before reading on:

**If you are, by chance, a complete and utter moron, and you have a sad and unhealthy obsession over either Brad 2.0 or any of the girls on the Bachelor, it's best you stop reading now.  Should you choose to continue, please don't go leaving me hate mail on my comments, because I could care less.  It will just get deleted and left out of my life, as you are with anyone else in your sad lonely life.  Thank you. **

Weird Act #1:    <-----She's a dentist.  Now.....would YOU allow this woman to give you a root canal when you've just seen her swap spit with a virtual stranger on national television?  Um, thanks so much, but I think I'll go for the ugly old guy over there for my dental issues. 


Weird Act #2:This woman, Melissa, vs this woman, Raichel.
                      TWO episodes in, these women were fighting like cats and dogs over 2.0!  Seriously, they were getting in each other's faces, and talking smack.  They kept interrupting each other's 1:1 time with 2.0  What a way to show yourself to the country.  "He's MY man!  I've known him longer than you have!  You've only known him five minutes.  I've known him SIX!"  Puh-leeeeze.....2.0 sooo isn't worth it. 




Weird Act #3:  Team 2.0 or Team Edward??   <----this chick has fangs.  Enough said.




Weird Act #4:   <------this chick plays with dead people.  I'm not so sure about marrying a person who plays with dead people.  That's some sort of nasty, gross, and disturbing nightmare type movie right there. 



Weird Act#5:  And last, but definitely not least, we have 2.0 himself!    He left 2 chicks standing there with their mouths wide open the LAST time he was on the show.  Then he received three years of intensive bitch slapping, no dating, harrassment from the women of the United States.  And ABC goes and lets him try again?  They must be looking for ratings.  Shame on you, ABC....shame on you.  Let Brad 2.0 live his life of lonliness and reclusion.  He deserves it. 




So, there you go.  There's my run down on the Brad Womack 2.0 season.  Let's see how it plays out.

Later Days!

Breakfast burritos are the DEVIL!

I have decided that Ricky Gervais is, indeed and by far, the most GENIUS man on the face of the planet!  I was watching him on Ellen yesterday, and she was talking to him about all the weight he's lost in the past year.  She mentioned to him how it must have been difficult.  And do you know what his response was?  Wait for it.....wait for it....he said, and I quote, "It wasn't hard.  It was boring."  How epiphoniacal is that????  Why did I never look at it that way?  I've always told myself that dieting was hard.  But, Ricky Gervais is right!  It's not!  It really isn't!  It's just boring!  How come it takes a virtually unknown celebrity to make me realize this?  Wow....It has stuck with me since the moment he said.  He also said, "Who wants to get on that exercise machine and sweat your ass off, when you can sit on it and eat a tube of Pringles?  Of course not, but it's like going to work.  You do it because you have to.  Not because you want to."  Dang, Gervais!  You're a freakin' GENIUS!  And so, because of that, today's post is dedicated to you!  Live long and prosper, Gervais.  Live long and prosper.

I have this posted on my fridge.  So, everytime I go to get in the fridge, whether it's to start cooking dinner, or because I'm bored or hungry....this is the last thing I look at before I try to grab it.  It may sound strange to you, but to me, it's a tiny motivator.  It automatically starts that little devil/angel on the shoulder fight that will argue and fight against the evils of fat and whale-ness.  So, when I get that urge to go through the McDonald's (DAMN YOU, Ronald!) for those oh-so-tasty breakfast burritos with hot picante sauce, before I even get to the turn, I hear the little angel on my shoulder saying, "M....let us not forget about that little black dress you're trying to get into!!  Let us not forget the reason we aren't going to eat those temptuous, yet devil's food.  If you make that turn, you're also making one hell of a cluster fuck up."  Ok, so maybe an angel won't say cluster fuck.  Well, maybe not YOUR angel.  Mine does.  Mine's a liberated angel who knows that a cuss word doesn't mean she will lose her Godly wings.  So, there! 

I have another troubadour in my quest.  She shall forth known as "Roomie."  Roomie is an old and dear friend of mine.  She is, also, on a quest to look less like an animal and more like a hot chick.  Much like my Anti-Whale quest, Roomie's on an Anti-Cow like quest.  We also have similar goals.  As everyone knows, mine is to get into that LBD.  Roomie's is to get into a pair of skinny jeans.  So, she's going to follow me and work with Computer Girl and I on our quests to be less than we are---in every literal sense of the word.  LOL  So, follow us and our trials and tribulations.  Join us in our gripes and groans, and laugh at our mishaps and missteps.  It's ok.  We have a lot of fat.  It'll just bounce off of us and go back onto you.  LOL! 

Later Days!

I am a nice person. I am a nice person. I am a nice person.

I have to keep reminding myself to find the good in all people.  I really do.  It's so easy to go to the dark side and just start saying negative things.  I feel like Darth Vadar sometimes lately.  I know I need to be good, but then the evil Jedi mind tricks take over, and I have to fight the urge to stand there and say, "What the hell is wrong with you?"  I guess it's a good thing that I'm not Luke's father.....else I'd be trying to knock off my own son to spite myself.  This is, by FAR, the hardest resolution I've ever had.  I think I'd rather resolve to lose 200lbs instead of resolving to be a kinder, more sympathic version of myself.  This is hard shit!!!!

My friend, Gina, brought me a present this morning.  Remember how I was having such difficulties in finding a happy temperature for my classroom?  Well, it's been resolved, but my friend, Gina brought me a giant thermometer for my classroom.  LOL  It was funny.  I have it right up on my 1923 chipping chalkboard. 

So, lately I've been thinking that I want to get an exchange student.  Ever since high school, I've ALWAYS wanted to have one for a year.  One of my best friends my senior year was Lin, an exchange student from Sweden.  She and I still have contact with each other.  I even told JB before he and I got married that someday, I WAS going to get one.  I'd like to get one from either Sweden, Germany, or Denmark.  I don't know why I've been thinking about it so much lately.  I have always told JB that I wouldn't get one until the kids were in high school...but for some reason I want one NOW!  It's been going through my head more and more lately.  Of course, I know that it won't happen.  Not only do we not have the room, but I promised JB that I wouldn't even look into it before the kids were in high school.  DANG!  Why do I have to be so damn obediant?!?!?!?! 

Why birthdays suck for Diabetics

Why birthdays suck for Diabetics

• First and foremost-birthday cake.  Need I say more?  It's like seeing bubble wrap and not being able to pop it!  Torture!
• Most people get to go out to whatever restaurant they want for their birthday.  Diabetics can not do that. You know we all want to go to the cheesecake factory and snosh on some chocolate cheesecake, but then we'd have to make a pit stop at the local emergency room on the way home.  So, no....we can NOT go wherever we want to for our birthday.
• Drinking!  A lot of people like to go out and "celebrate" for their birthday by having some cocktails....or two, or twenty....but us diabetics, we have to watch our "cocktail" intake so our BG doesn't go down.  Chalk another one up to the non-diabetics. 
• Presents.  Who doesn't like to get nice presents for their birthday?  A lot of people get candies.  A lot of people get sugary sweets.  Us diabetics?  We get ugly sweaters, gift cards, and coffee mugs with "World's Greatest Aunt" and "No, you can't touch it.  You already broke yours off" written on them. 
• And while we're on the subject of candies, if we DO get candies, they're sugar free, and sugar free stuff have tendencies to give you a nasty case of the Hershey Squirts about 3hrs after you eat it.  Nice...."Happy Birthday, here's a box of the shits for you!"

So, in the spirit of the Birthday season, HAPPY FRIKKIN' BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Ka-BOOM Happy Birthday to me!

My phone has been blowing UP with text messages and notices of messages left on my FB from people telling me happy birthday.  What a nice thing to see, that people actually care enough to take a minute or two to post a message wishing me a happy birthday.  No, really....no sarcasm intended.  It really is.  I hadn't planned on celebrating my birthday, but it really is nice seeing people still have compassion in their lives.  I've had to put my phone on vibrate, though, because of all the interruptions.  Every 15 seconds I was hearing, "Whoooo Wheeee!  You gotta text message!"  LOL  It started around midnight, too.  I heard it out in the kitchen while I was sleeping....or should I say TRYING to sleep, because it kept waking me up.  BUT-do you think I actually got up and turned it down?  Nope.  I was too lazy and tired to get up and go turn it down.  NOW, had I actually done that, I probably would have gotten more sleep than I did. LOL  JB was the same way, too.  So, I'm sure he's pretty tired today, also. 

I started my food journal today.  I usually take the first two or three weeks and write down everything I eat, so I can make sure that I am sticking with my diabetic, low carb diet.  I've also gotten back into the whole exercise thing.  Saturday I did Zumba (which is REALLY REALLY fun, by the way!) and Sunday I did the Wii Fitness and Just Dance.  I really REALLY want to get the Zumba for the Wii, too.  If I had the money, I'd totally do the classes, but they're $7.00/class, and I can't see myself spending that money on one class, when I can go out and buy the "game/video" for Wii and spend a one time fee of like $40.  It would pay for itself in six sessions.  Of course, I still have my eliptical machine, too.  The dreaded eliptical machine.  I know it works.....but I guess I get a sense of wanting to throw up when I know it's time to get on it.  I suppose I should get over that, huh?  I have decided, as stated in my last post, that I want to get a little black dress.  I am going to strive for a size 14, and once I hit a size 14, damnit, I'm going to go get me a LBD, and I'm going to make JB take me out in it.  I don't care where we go.  We can go to McDonald's playland or the stock car races, but damnit, I'm going to be wearing a LBD whild doing it!!!! 

It's time.

Tomorrow's my birthday.  My 34th birthday.  That means that I am officially over a 1/3 of a century old.  And I'm still fat.  I told myself last year that I wouldn't be a whale by my next birthday.  And here I sit....just as whale-like as I was this time last year.  Actually a little MORE whale-like.  I think I was 10lb lighter.  Anyways, so what better day to start back on my anti-whale quest than on my 34th birthday??  I've got a couple of friends here in town that are saying they'll do it with me, but honestly, I can't count on them.  I have to count only on myself.  What they do doesn't really matter.  I have to work on leaving my own blubber behind and not worry about whether they lose their blubber.  I do have a friend online, we'll call her Computer Girl.  She and I have a LOT in common.  She's gone through a lot of the same weight struggles as I have in our anti-whale quest.  Right now, we're exactly the same weight.  So, we're going to have a "reward" system put into place for each of us.  We're going to set up a goal for ourselves; you know, to hit a certain weight by a certain time.  And when we hit it, we're going to reward each other.  I think my reward is going to be a new dress....a new little black dress.  I've never had one ;)  Wouldn't I look hot and perty in one of those LBD's?  So, yeah...we'll see.  I'll post my complaints, my trials, and my tribulations here to help me vent, and give me an outlet instead of putting somethingi n my mouth. 

YAWN, stretch, scratch, and complain....

So I totally woke up tired again this morning.  I know why it is.  I do.  It's because I'm fat again.  Not pussy footing around.  I gained my weight back, so now I'm fat again, and I have to lose it.  I HAVE to get that motivation back to do it.  I don't know where it went, but it's gone.....anyone have any suggestions?  I need someone to kick my ass in gear.  But, moving on.....so I'm in the shower this morning when I realize, "Oh shit!" I have a staff meeting at 7:30!  And guess when I remember this?  Um....7:15.  So, I haul ass out of the shower, start hollaring at the kids to get their boots, etc. on, and get out the door by 7:30.  Was late, but I made it to the meeting before 7:45!  

So, you all know how I made this New Years resolution to be a kinder, more sympathetic version of myself, right?  I am really trying to not speak ill of people, and to find the good in everyone, etc....there is someone this morning that was REALLY testing my limits this morning!  I did well, I didn't say anything.  I kept my mouth shut....but I will tell you what, I really REALLY wanted to go off on this person.  They were being SO negative and mean and nasty, and was cutting down everything Josh and I had to say about what we were doing at this meeting.  She and her little mean, nasty British accent reminded me totally of how a curmudgeonly old spinster would really act....they totally lived up to it.  I don't understand how she can work with people with that nasty attitude.  Josh and I just kept our mouths shut, but I wanted to just say something so bad.....so, yeah....YAY ME for keeping my mouth shut!!
 

Whiney Wednesday

1.  So, I told myself that I wasn't going to get sucked back into the "Bachelor" this season.  I was protesting, because I thought they had done a cop out and was putting Brad back on to humiliate him some more.  So, I was like, "Nope!  Not going to watch.  Can't make me."  Even up to the moment that it came up on Monday, I was still in violent protest.  BUT-then the chick with fangs was premiered in the previews.  DAMNIT!  They sucked me right back in!  I was sat down just to see if this girl really did have fangs, and I ended up watching the whole show.  UGH!  Damn you, ABC, for being so conniving that you were able to hook me back in to the whole disgusting thing. 

2.  It's still colder than a meat locker in my classroom.  The thermostat apparently doesn't work.  It's freezing.  I have to dress like a really stylish homeless person just to be comfortable enough in my classroom to teach Geometry and Algebra.  There's something wrong with that picture.  I'm wearing pants underneath my skirt.  I have socks on over my panty hose to keep my feet and toes warm. 

3.  It was really hard to get out of bed this morning.  I slept so nicely last night.  It was the first night in probably three weeks that I wasn't waking up to a coughing fit.  So, when the alarm went off this morning, I didn't really want to get out of bed and get ready.  Needless to say, because of that fact, and because I hit the alarm and slept for another 11 minutes, I'm not wearing any makeup today. 

4.  I made a New Year's resolution to be a kinder, more sympatheic version of myself this year.  I have found that sometimes, I can be a little negative, and I don't like that.  It makes me feel bad about myself and about the people I'm talking to or about.  So, I resolved to be more conscientious of what I say and how I say it.  Unfortunately, I have to say I'm having a little bit of difficulty.  Dumb people are making it VERY hard for me to bite my tongue and keep my mouth shut.  So far, I've been able to do it, but I do see a slip up in the near future....I'm just sayin'.

5.  Ok, I know this isn't a whine, but I have to say that I LOVE Wii's Just Dance and Just Dance 2!  It is so much fun!  The second one, especially!  It's got really neat dances like Bollywood, the Charleston and Tribal stuff on it.  I love love LOVE it.  It's especially fun when I get to do it with the girls.  If you have a Wii, I highly suggest you get it and try it out.  You'll have a lot of fun.

Happy Frikkin' New Year!

This year, I resolve not to lose weight (isn't that what everyone else resolves to do?) or be healthier, etc....I want to always do that.  This year, I'm going to resolve to be a lot nicer to people, to try not to gossip and talk ill of people.  God help me!!!